Second Thoughts
by mentalsunflower
Summary: Two people tangled in a web of memories, lies, and love both have second thoughts about the direction their lives seem to be going...without each other. [Kyoru]
1. Twice the Tension

**A/N: **What's this? She's writing another Fruits Basket chapter fic? Yes! Yes I am! And I'm excited for it! Of course, the beginning makes me horribly sad, but I have a plan. Er—sort of. But man, I just really wanted to write another one REALLY bad.

Do you think I'm going to get Furuba'd out? With this and _Moments in Life?_

….

Yea, me too! Haha. Hope you enjoy the first chapter of _Second Thoughts._

PS: Reviews make my day, because I'm so nervous about this one. Hehe. Love you all!

**Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. This very angsty story is mine (awkwardly enough).

* * *

**_Second Thoughts_**

_Chapter One_

* * *

_His heart crushes. He can feel it, almost as if it is in slow motion. Tearing, ripping, shredding, falling, dying…they are all steps to a dance he can't follow. His heart follows the steps. He feels like crying. He feels like screaming. He feels like punching someone._

_He feels…alone._

_"How?" he asks hoarsely. "How can you…can you do this?"_

_"It just sort of…happened," she answers honestly—truthfully. He can't fight the sadness in her eyes. He can't fight the hope that he won't be angry, the hope they can still be friends, the hope that…the hope that he'll forgive her._

_He doesn't say anything. He spins around. He walks away quickly. As soon as he turns the corner, he breaks out into a run, sprinting through the school doors and into the bright sunlight. He squints. He doesn't know if it's from the glare of the sun or from the tears, because they come flowing now. Pouring down his cheeks, a steady river of sadness. He tries to stop them, but instead a dry sob wracks his body. _

_What will he do now?_

* * *

_Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Auugghhhh…"

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Shut _up,_" he muttered, patting around for the alarm clock

_Beep. Beep. Beep._

"Shut the HELL up, already!" He sat up, grabbed the clock, and threw it at the wall. The cord ripped from the outlet and the clock was sent spinning, smashing into the bookshelf across from him.

It was silent.

"Kyo-kun?" He heard a nervous voice from the other side of his door. "What happened?"

Kyo sighed heavily, scratching at his hair absent-mindedly. "Nothing. Just the clock."

"Did you…did you break it?" she asked meekly.

He lied. "No. I just—shut it off."

"Oh. All right." Kyo could hear her light footsteps fade off down the hall, towards the kitchen. She was off to make breakfast, no doubt. He sighed again, stood up, and began rummaging through the closet to find his school uniform. Afterwards, he headed out to get something to eat.

"Good morning, Kyo-kun!" Tohru cried happily, flipping pancakes into the air. The smell was heavenly, and Kyo felt his stomach rumble. "I decided to make pancakes. You like them, don't you?"

Kyo nodded slightly, headed for the fridge per ritual. "Yea," he answered shortly.

"Okay!" she said, oblivious to Kyo's rumbling mood. He gulped down some milk and placed it back in the fridge.

"Where's everyone else?" he asked.

"Shigure-san is…gone, and Yuki-kun is still asleep."

"Hm," he grunted, walking around the kitchen absently. "Shouldn't you go wake Yuki up?"

Tohru started, nearly dropping the frying pan. "I—I—I suppose so."

"I'll take over," Kyo reassured, grabbing the pan out of Tohru's grasp. Their fingers touched for a fleeting second, and Tohru stepped back nervously.

"Um—well—okay."

"You wouldn't want him late for school," Kyo hinted in a false nonchalant voice. "Right?"

"R—R—Right."

He didn't look back as he heard her disappear. Let her go. He was sick of her acting like everything was normal between them—it so very clearly wasn't. He had to give her points for _trying _though. Kyo was just too stubborn to accept the truth.

"Okay, Kyo is probably done the pancakes by now…"

Kyo heard a reply. "Excellent. I'm starving."

A giggle from Tohru.

Kyo flushed a deep red, slamming the pan harder on the stovetop then he meant to. He turned around to see Yuki and Tohru walking beside each other, Yuki's arm slung around Tohru's shoulders—just close enough to be obvious, but far enough away to be safe.

Kyo felt like he was going to be sick. "Make your own damn breakfast!" he snapped loudly, stomping past the couple. As he passed Tohru, he thought he saw her eyes watch him almost…sadly. Pitifully?

"What's his problem?" he heard Yuki ask as he walked further and further down the hall.

"I—I don't know. Here, just let me get these for you. Then I'll go see what the problem is…"

"Like Hell you will!" Kyo yelled down the hall. Silence greeted his outburst, but he could almost see Tohru turning red, her eyes downcast whilst Yuki glared down the hall in his direction.

Well, let them think what they wanted. Kyo wasn't about to let their little lovey-dovey antics get to him. Nooo way. This whole Tohru-going-out-with-Yuki thing didn't bother him a bit. After all, it hadn't for the past year.

_No way._

But as he headed to the roof, he knew it was a lie. It would bother him until the day he died…and longer.

* * *

"Don't worry about it Tohru."

"B—But…he was so angry!"

Yuki's cool hand on her shoulder caused a shiver to run up her spine; his eyes, cold and hard, bored into hers. "You know why he's acting like that."

"Bu—"

"There's no need to investigate."

A silence stretched out between the two; Tohru trying to figure out how to reply and Yuki gazing towards the frying pan. "Oh, is breakfast ready then?" he asked calmly, stepping away and letting his hand float away from her shoulder lightly. She brightened immediately.

"Almost! Let me fix it up a bit…" The two chatted for a bit longer, Yuki animatedly describing the latest problem with the student council, and Tohru listening easily, nodding every so often and laughing in all of the right places.

But she couldn't help but picture Kyo, out on the roof, with a look of pure anger on his face. She didn't want him to be angry. Although she had made her choice, she decided he had no _right _to be angry.

After breakfast. Then she would talk to him.

"Tohru? Tohru?" A hand shook her shoulder, and she immediately snapped out of her daze, turning around to see Yuki watching her with concern. "Are you all right?" he asked softly. Tohru felt herself blushing under his gaze, and lowered her eyes to watch his shoes instead.

"Y—Yes. I'm fine…"

"Don't let him bother you, okay?" Yuki was so kind, Tohru realized, as he smiled at her and ran his fingers through a bit of her hair lightly. So kind, and so sweet. So much like the man she had always dreamed of being with.

And yet…

No. She wouldn't let herself think like that. Things were going too well. Too perfect. She didn't want to disrupt such a thing with her confused thoughts.

_Time to let go; _she told herself sternly as, minutes after breakfast, she changed into her school uniform. _I'm not going to go talk to him. Don't think about the past anymore. At least…try._

* * *

"Kyon! Hey! Kyon! Orangey!" The sharp, barking voice awoke Kyo with a snort. Then someone shook his arms, which were resting on the desk and protecting his head while he drifted off in homeroom.

"Wha--?" he mumbled, lifting his head a fraction of an inch with his eyes still partially glued shut from sleep. In front of him stood a fuming Uotani, her eyes slanted very dangerously. Kyo let out a groan of exasperation and let his head fall back into his arms.

"Hey!" she snapped again, shaking his arm with such force he felt like there was an earthquake. "What're you _sleeping _for? I'm asking you a question!"

"I didn't get any sleep last night!" Kyo cried suddenly, sitting up and looking as visibly angry as Uotani. "So can you shut the HELL up and let me get some damn _sleep!_"

Uotani blinked at him, eyes crossed in front of her chest. "As if, Kyon," she muttered, eyes glinting. "When I have a question, I expect it to be answered."

Kyo's anger deflated into defeat. "Whaddya want?" he asked monotonously, holding his chin up in his hands to make sure he didn't fall asleep again.

Uotani pulled over a chair with an obnoxious screech, plopping herself down in front of Kyo, who continued to glare at her with all the sleepy hatred he could muster.

"Where's Tohru?" she asked unexpectedly, her voice suddenly more worried than cross. Kyo bristled at her question. In fact, he was set on edge whenever anyone mentioned her anymore.

"I don't know," he replied in that same neutral tone, letting his eyes wander from Uotani to the wall behind her, where a group of students were drawing obscene things on the white board while the teacher was out.

"As if!" Uotani's voice slashed through his thoughts again, bringing him back down to his chair with a slam. He glanced over at her, surprised.

"Why would I know?" he asked venomously. _I barely know her anymore. _

"Because you two…are friends?" Uotani asked, quirking an eyebrow almost suggestively, as if saying 'what's your story, buddy?'

"You're better friends with her then I am," Kyo snapped at her, rubbing his eyes with a lion's yawn. "Can you leave me alone now?"

"I guess," she said with a shrug, watching him closer now. "I guess," she repeated.

Kyo watched her in silence as she moved her chair back to the table and walked over to the group of boisterous boys in the front, where she proceeded to tease them. Kyo only sighed again, gazing out the window to his left. Oh, he knew where she was. Off with Yuki, of course, helping him with his little Presidential duties.

Whatever.

As soon as the bell rang, Kyo bolted from the classroom, anxious to go his next class. The class where no one knew him. Where he knew no one. It was a blissful class.

He couldn't _wait _for high school to be over now.

* * *

"Oh, there's Kyo-kun now!" Tohru cried, as a throng of students wrestled their way out of homeroom. Tohru waved at him, but he only averted his eyes and acted as if he hadn't seen her. Maybe he hadn't.

Yuki stood beside her, brow furrowed with thought. "I don't think he saw you."

"I don't think he does anymore at all," Tohru replied almost sadly. Yuki looked down at her and lightly touched her shoulder, causing her to jump and look imploringly up at him.

"We have study hall now," he reminded her absently.

"Er—right!" she agreed readily, smiling up at him. "I really do need help with that algebra quiz that's coming up."

"I'd be glad to chip in," Yuki told her warmly, grabbing her hand. She grew red, and he smiled at her. She was so adorable. The two proceeded to walk down the hall, hand-in-hand…but not without someone watching them from down the hall with hateful eyes.

* * *

School was done for the week. Kyo was so relieved to be able to go home and rest in his room for two days straight, only to leave to go out and train, and then hurry back in. With this new strategy his marks had gone up amazingly; he had nothing else to do with his time other than homework.

But this weekend was going to be different. When he walked in the front door a note was taped to the wall opposite. He couldn't tell who had written it but as he slid off his shoes he saw the little heart in the corner and knew: Shigure.

He ripped it off viciously, scouring the note for anything important. Rolling his eyes, he taped the note back up for the Tohru and _Yuki _to see.

_Dear Lovelies,_

_I will be out for the evening on writing business. Surprisingly, I ran into Mayu-chan this afternoon and discovered something—you three had signed up for a volunteering event numerous months ago! _

_Just wanted to remind you to be at the school at eight o'clock tomorrow morning. She wouldn't tell me what it was, but she wanted me to remind you._

_PS: Just to rub it in a little, I'll be sleeping then. Heehee!_

_-Shigure_

Kyo remembered that. Clearly. He and tons of other students had volunteered (well, he had been pushed into it by Tohru…when they had still talked, that is) to do a complete clean out of the school: classrooms, halls, the gym, walls, floors, lockers…_everything. _

_"Oh, Kyo-kun, it's only a bit of cleaning!"_

_"I would think that since your job is cleaning, you'd get sick of this."_

_"But it's for the school! It could be **fun!**"_

_"…You sure?"_

_"Yes!"_

_"…All right."_

_"Thank you Kyo-kun! Thank you!"_

Disgusted with himself, Kyo threw his backpack into the corner of his room. Why had he _ever _agreed? Sure, they would be split into groups; there were so many students that it would be very rare for him to be in a group with any of his so-called friends. He could go the day wiping at some dust and maybe rearranging a few books, and then he would be done. Nothing too serious. He might even cut the last half, just because he really didn't want to do this now.

_Then again, being in a school is less chance of seeing her then at home, _he thought mildly, flopping down on his futon as his eyes stared blankly at the clock he had broken that morning. _And I really need a new clock. _

Dammit. He had forgotten about that volunteering, and he had been happy. Stupid Shigure! Why the hell did he have to know his teacher, anyway? That was just creepy.

Fifteen minutes later (or so Kyo assumed; he didn't have a clock, after all) he heard Tohru and Yuki enter the house, chattering away like excited little birds. Then a pause, some mumbles, and the ripping of tape as the note was taken off of the wall.

Well.

He should have just tore it off and threw it in the garbage. Of course, Yuki wasn't one to forget. Being President he was forced to remember basically everything that happened every moment of the day at the school.

Yawning and stretching out, he tried to force his mind onto other things. He wriggled his toes, and then let out a big gasp of air after stretching. His head was light as he sat up abruptly, running a hand through his unruly hair. He was restless, and he knew it.

Might as well train. It was better than nothing. After he had changed and grabbed a towel, he snuck quietly past the kitchen to go through the back door. Before he did though, he caught a glimpse of Tohru and Yuki sitting at the table, laughing with their hands clasped together and being so close it made Kyo sick with a memory.

A memory he seriously wanted to forget. But he knew, deep down in his heart, it was impossible.

And that was what had started this whole mess in the beginning.


	2. The Clam Up

**A/N: **Yay, another chapter! There's lots of angst. I _love _angst. But fluff is good too, and it will come in due time. There's always the obstacle before the prize, you know. Heehee.

Oh, and the little blurb of italics Kyo remembers near the end? Yea, that's an unfinished memory. So are the italics that seem to be shouting at him. Those are memories from a scene I'm saving for later. Haha. This is slowly starting to sound like my FFX-2 story. Too many memories to deal with! (laugh) No, that's a lie. They're actually quite different, considering the memories in this story involve the two of them rather then separately.

And I'm sure you could care less. Haha. Enjoy!

**Answer: **There wasa question asked about how long Tohru and Yuki have been dating. Hm...I never really thought about it, haha! I'm assuming at the time I was writing, I was thinking the TENSION with Kyo and Tohru started about a year ago. Why Tohru was considered 'with' Yuki then will be explained, later, of course. Thanks for asking!

**Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. This very angsty story is mine (awkwardly enough).

* * *

**_Second Thoughts_**

_Chapter Two_

* * *

The early morning chill awoke Tohru from her sleep almost immediately. Blinking slowly, she glanced at the clock hanging from the wall opposite her bed.

_Six o'clock._

Moaning into her pillow, she realized she left the window open last night, explaining the coolness that had seeped into her bones. Shivering, she wrapped her quilt tighter around her body, deciding maybe _once _she could sleep in…

Until she remembered reading the note Shigure had left last night.

"Oh yes," she mumbled to herself, "The clean up!" Or, as students around school were calling it, The Clam-Up, which basically meant 'we're cleaning our school because the mayor is coming to inspect.'

After Tohru had finished dressing in her school uniform and tying her hair into two braided pigtails, she padded through the hall and down the stairs, where she was met with the glare of the morning sunlight blasting through the windows.

Wincing, she hurriedly closed the blinds on the windows; if she was going to start breakfast, she wanted to be able to actually see what she was cooking and not make a horrible mess.

_I wonder whose group I'll be in! _She thought happily as she bustled around the kitchen, trying to find something to make. _I hope one of my friends will be in it! Or…_She didn't let herself finish the thought, because the idea of Yuki being in her group would be too good of a coincidence. Grinning inside, she began to hum softly, spinning around towards the fridge to grab some milk.

She hadn't been counting on running into something—or _someone, _to be more accurate.

"Oh!" she cried, taking a step back and blushing and giving a slight bow. "Sorry!"

There was a hesitated pause before Kyo muttered a quiet, "Whatever," and continued his trek through the kitchen to the backyard. Tohru straightened up, her eyes still on the floor, as she heard Kyo pass her and slide the door open and then shut again. She didn't move for several moments, but knew she had just ruined one of her many chances to apologize.

Trying to forget about the awkward encounter (she always had a difficult time forgetting these; they happened too often), she set to work on making breakfast. Might as well make an early start to school!

"Good morning," mumbled a voice from the hall. Tohru whirled around, surprised. "Yuki-kun!" she cried, smiling at his still half-asleep form. "What are you doing up so early? I would have gotten you up when the food was ready, you know," she added with a slight pout. Yuki grinned lethargically at her, taking a step forward and kissing her on the forehead lightly.

"Couldn't sleep," he informed her lazily, but as he drifted off to get a glass of water, she could tell something else was bothering him.

"What's wrong?" she asked softly, tugging at his arm gently. His cotton shirt, white and starched straight and perfectly buttoned slipped a little at her grasp. He turned to look down at her, surprised.

"Nothing," he assured her, but Tohru nibbled her bottom lip fretfully.

"Are you sure?" she continued to prod.

"Positive," Yuki said again, and then proceeded to ask her about the clean up. And as Tohru answered and excitedly told him about how prepared she would be (what with her job and all) she still couldn't get rid of the uncomfortable knot growing in her stomach.

* * *

"Gloves?"

"Yea."

"Apron?"

"Like Hell I'm wearing an apron!"

"Fine. Hey, button up your shirt!"

"Later."

"…"

"_Later._"

"Garbage bag?"

"Check."

"Handkerchief?"

"Aren't we DONE yet?"

"Yes!" The irritable student a year above Kyo gave him an intense glare of dislike, gave one more menacing checkmark on his clipboard, and moved onto the next person in his group.

Kyo irritably stuffed the handkerchief in his pocket, muttering about idiocy and how girly he would look if he _actually _tied his hair back with it. What the _hell? _

"Hello Sohma-kun," whispered a haunting voice from behind him. Kyo's ears twitched almost nervously, but he didn't move a muscle, except for the expression on his face that contorted into a grimace of great dislike. Kyo's group included fifteen students and he had not, thankfully, been put into a group with anyone he knew.

Except _her. _

"Having fun?" she asked, nearly gliding to stand beside him. Kyo allowed his eyes to dart over to her and then away again.

"Obviously," he spat, slipping the sticky latex gloves on his hands. "You?"

"Oh, quite a lot of it," Hanajima answered neutrally, her void-like eyes following the trail of two nervous Prince Yuki Club members. Kyo managed to crack a sardonic smirk.

"Interesting."

"So, I suppose we will be spending our time together?"  
Kyo let out a yelp at her words, taking a jump backwards and glaring at her. "I don't want to spend my time with a freak!" he spat, watching her as if expecting antennae to emerge out of the top of her head. She blinked at him, turned away, and continued to survey the scene of students goofing off, girls gabbing, and the older student barking at numerous students and scribbling ominously on his clipboard.

"I am afraid…" She didn't finish her sentence—as usual—and Kyo quirked an eyebrow at her, waiting rather impatiently.

"…I will have to exchange groups," she finally finished, glancing back over at Kyo. He stared openly at her.

"Huh?" he asked intelligently.

"You know. With Tohru-kun, of course."

Kyo's eyes bugged out of his head, and it took him numerous moments to shove the screaming voice in his head aside and get the sense to snap his jaw shut. "Y—You—_what?_" he hissed, clenching his fists.

"No one likes tension, Sohma-kun," she told him almost condescendingly. Kyo's eyes slanted to a dangerous angle.

"What the hell are you talking about?" growled Kyo. Did she know? Had Tohru blabbed? Well, probably, he wouldn't doubt it. But why switch with her then?

"Oh you know. We don't like each other very much; that is obvious." Kyo blinked at her words. She noticed the expression on his face and gave a small sigh. "You and I, that is. The tension between us would ruin the outing, don't you think?"

"This is barely an outing," he muttered, but a small shiver of relief ran through his body. So she wasn't speaking about him and Tohru. Good.

But then he finally came to the realization of her words and tried desperately to think of something—_anything—_that he could say to change her mind without sounding either too incriminating or too strange; it's not like he _wanted _Hanajima in his group or anything.

Before he could speak he saw her hovering over to the older student, and after a few harsh words from him and glares from her and maybe a few purple sparks (Kyo wasn't sure, but he knew he was going to stay as far away from that weirdo as possible), she gave him a slight nod and began to tread slowly down the hall in the direction of a different group.

Tohru's group.

* * *

Tohru jogged down the hall, worry lines creasing her brow. Hanajima had come to visit her group (it was her and Uotani, which had turned out well enough), but the teacher had come to her and at once requested her switch with Hanajima. When she had asked her friend what was wrong, she had only given her a somewhat melodramatic speech that, in the end, really had no point.

So Tohru had waved goodbye to her friends and was now running towards her new group, feeling something like fear clench her stomach.

_What was waiting for her at the end of the hall?_

After turning one more corner, she spotted the group of bustling students she would soon be working with.

And after introducing herself to the paranoid-looking senpai, she glanced over her group as she slipped on her gloves.

Seeing an orange head bobbing in the crowd of blues and blacks, she felt her stomach plummet to the ground and maybe a bit beyond that.

_Not good._

She didn't know what to do at first. She sidled over to the wall where she stood, bag clung tightly in her grip, awaiting her instructions. And the entire time she couldn't take her face off of that distant orange head, which really wasn't moving either. She could just imagine him hanging out at the wall opposite of her, hidden by the throng of obnoxious students. Shivering slightly, she tied the handkerchief on her head to keep her bangs out of her eyes.

"All right team!" cried the senpai, his voice much louder then Tohru would have expected. "We're taking over the north-east corner of the school, so get your acts together and grab a group! I will assign you classrooms, halls, or other locations to do the work! Make sure you grab the supplies from me before proceeding to the assignment! Now, let's get moving!"

Tohru trudged along with the rest of the group, who all seemed to be giggling and laughing and maybe throwing stolen sponges at each other (she wasn't really paying attention). All she knew was that this was a seriously bad omen and somehow, she was going to get shoved into Kyo's presence at some point.

"HEY! IDIOT!" snapped a voice suddenly right beside her ear. She gasped and started backwards, seeing Kyo standing where she had been only seconds ago. He was screaming at a student who seemed to have pushed him into her path whilst diving for the sponge, which Tohru now saw in his grip. "What do you think you're _doing? _That's completely stupid!"  
"Uh—I'm—well—I was just—"

Tohru saw the small boy pale and unable to muster up the courage to speak. Tohru's pity kicked in and she stood up to Kyo, not even realizing what she was saying until afterwards. "I'm sorry," she began quickly, watching the boy and not Kyo, "It was my fault. I—uh—kicked my leg out. And he tripped over it." Tohru knew it was a feeble lie, but the boy glowed at her.

"PLEASE KEEP MOVING!" screeched a voice from ahead, and the boy bowed at her and walked away quickly. That left Tohru and Kyo nearly a hall away from the rest of the group. A tense silence fell on top of them.

"Why'd you do that?" Kyo asked suddenly; sharply. She blinked, but still wouldn't look at him.

"He was scared," she replied simply, fiddling with the tie on her uniform jacket. "I don't like it when people are scared."

She realized immediately she had said the wrong words. She could tell because Kyo, who had been walking uncomfortably beside her, had stiffened his arm, which was barely an inch away from her own. She halted and barely glanced at him. "Um…" was all she managed to squeak out, before Kyo waved a dismissive hand at her, and the students were assigned their positions.

* * *

_I can't believe he stuck me with Tohru! It's like Hanajima planned it all or something, _Kyo thought angrily, scrubbing viciously at a stain on the desk in Classroom 109. _As if something like this would happen normally!_

There had been two other people in their group, but they had both been girls and had giggled an excuse of visiting the washroom; he knew they were probably off to explore or catch up with friends or something, but Tohru seemed oblivious. As usual. Heaving a big sigh that pushed his bangs up, Kyo continued to try to wash away the stain that _just wouldn't leave. _

"You have to use some cleaner," Tohru whispered from the whiteboard. Kyo glanced up sharply, his soggy cloth slipping on the wooden desk and nearly sending his arm flying out. He managed to grab the edge of the desk quickly though, and averted his eyes from Tohru, blushing.

"Where is it?" he asked, and he suddenly noticed a hand holding a bottle of cleaner underneath his eyes. She had grabbed it for him, and was now standing beside him almost nervously, her eyes wide. Kyo grabbed the cleaner. "Thanks," he mumbled, spraying some on the desk. Tohru only gave a mumble of assent, and Kyo felt something pull at his heart as she drifted away.

_Why did things have to get so damn screwed up between us?_

"Hey," he began, but then stopped talking. Tohru was facing him again, halfway towards the whiteboard again. He lifted his head to look over at her quickly, and he shifted his position so he didn't have to lean so much on the desk anymore.

"Yes?" she asked quietly, and Kyo swore he heard her voice trembling.

_No way. She's past that…you should be too._

"…Uh…" He tried desperately to think of something to say, but nothing came to mind. Well, he could have chosen a few words but they didn't seem to be the right ones to say at the moment.

"…Nevermind," he said hurriedly, and bent down to continue wiping at the one stubborn mark. He watched Tohru's shadow shudder, hesitate, but then continue to walk until it was out of his view. Once it was, he clenched his teeth and shut his eyes tightly, as if trying to erase some sort of painful memory.

He was.

* * *

_"__Tohru?" The wind was bitter out on the roof, sending shivers through his body and nearly setting his teeth chattering. If he were cold, Tohru would be much worse off. _

_She was sitting on the edge of her roof, her feet almost dangling off of the edge. Her face was buried in her knees, but she didn't react when Kyo called her name._

_"Hey," he prodded, taking a step closer but then shuddering to a halt. Her shoulders were trembling, and he heard a small hiccup from her mouth._

_She was **crying.**_

_He didn't know what to do. He took another small step toward her, but then paused. "Tohru…" He didn't know what to say. She just looked so sad and…and…_

_**Scared.**_

_…_

* * *

"Here," Kyo said suddenly, tossing the cleaner across the room towards Tohru. She gave a squeak as it sped for her hands, but she somehow managed to grasp it (even with numerous fumbles). Kyo cracked a smirk, but it was small and he knew Tohru wouldn't see it.

"What's this for?" she asked blankly, looking up at him nervously, and then back down at the cleaner.

"For the board," he said easily, resting a hand on his hip as he leaned against the desk lazily. "You need it more than I do." The two stared at each other for a split second, but to Kyo it almost seemed like an eternity. Her eyes, so wide and liquidy brown, blinked as if time had slowed. He knew she knew he was watching her, because she was watching him back.

He felt shivers run up his spine and immediately tossed his hair back out of his eyes, glancing up at the ceiling and blinking hard again. _Stop it, stop it, stop it…_

"I'll be right back," he muttered, tossing the rag down on the desk and taking strong, powerful strides toward the door. He didn't know what he was doing, but all he knew was that he needed space—_now._

"WAIT!" cried Tohru from behind him. He paused, hand on the doorknob. His shoulders stiffened as he heard her walk quickly over to him. A soft touch on his arm caused his other hand to grip the doorknob even tighter until his knuckles turned white.

"What?" he snarled, keeping his gaze on his shoes. Her breathing was so close even though she was so short compared to him.

"Kyo-kun…" He clenched his teeth together again, biting back the impulse to say anything, "I'm…I'm…" Her voice grew so tiny he could barely hear her words. "I'm sorry."

He paled and without even hesitating flung the door open and nearly ran out of the room, his eyes wide and heart banging inside of his ribcage.

_I'm sorry…_

_I'm sorry…_

That's what he had wanted to say. But he had been to frightened of what she might reply, what might happen between them even more…

_I'm sorry…_

She had said that and he had freaked out. He had run just like he always did when things got too much for him. Run to the mountains, run out the second floor window, run through the forest, run to the lake…

Run to the roof.

It was always the same story. He was always the coward; too afraid to say the words he wanted to say and do the things he wanted to do.

_I'm sorry._

A hallway away he stopped, leaning against the lockers and panting slightly. He slumped over and cradled his head in his hands; blinking so ferociously small dots were spinning in front of his eyes. Slowly his body slid down the lockers until he was sitting; even his legs had no more strength.

Who knew words could affect him so badly?

_"You're nothing but a coward!"_

"No," he mumbled through gritted teeth. "I am _not _a coward…"

"_Look where hiding got you, you stupid cat!"_

"I'm not hiding," he hissed to no one, his fingers clutching at his face tighter. "No…no…"

_Coward._

_I'm sorry._

_Scared._

"ARGH!" Kyo stood up silently, swinging around and kicking his foot so violently into the lockers a very visible dent was left in the metal. His toes rang with pain, but he ignored the water that stung behind his eyes as the pain grew and focussed. He didn't care.

"Kyo-kun…"

The voice startled him so much he jumped nearly three feet into the air. Spinning around again, he saw Tohru huffing and puffing a few feet away from him, clutching at her stomach. She had run fast; just to catch up with him…

"Kyo-kun," she said again, the expression on her face almost as painful as Kyo's own. "I'm sorry," she said again, and Kyo's eyes widened in shock once again. Shaking his head furiously, he covered his eyes with an arm.

"Go!" he growled, his voice muffled. He heard a sharp intake of breath, and he threw his arm down to glare at her. "Leave!" he cried again. "Get away from me!" She continued to stare at him, too surprised to say anything; he could tell by the way her eyes were slowly widening, then falling, tears welling up in the corners. "Just…go away." He took a giant intake of breath. "Leave…so I don't have to be the one to run again."

Tohru blinked. He knew she was confused. He didn't care. "_Please,_" he whispered again, and this time she willingly obliged, wringing the towel in her hands nervously as she took a few unsteady steps backwards, and then spun around and ran as fast as she could down the hall.

Kyo watched her go and then let out a breath he had been holding the entire time.

He was always running, and she was always chasing. _Why did she come to see me?_ He thought painfully, walking swiftly down the hall in the opposite direction. _Why, when she's with Yuki? _Even thinking it made him feel sick, but that didn't stop his mind from turning the gears. _Does she still…maybe even a little…?_

_If she did, she wouldn't know it herself, _snapped the sulky voice in Kyo's head. _She'd feel too guilty._

Once he thought that, he knew it to be true. She was just like that. Kyo could read her like a book, or so he thought. But sometimes—those rare sometimes—she surprised him.

Now wasn't one of those times, though.

Letting out a snarl of frustration, Kyo ripped off his gloves and tossed them to the ground, not even bothering to throw them in the garbage bin right beside what was now the crumpled heap of latex. He ripped the handkerchief out of his pocket and stared at it as he stood outside of the doors.

Right now, Tohru was probably off crying to Yuki…

Fine. Let her cry. Kyo wouldn't try to stop her. Not like he had before. Because bad things came of trying to help her out. It was just another curse Kyo had to deal with.

Grumbling obscenities, he crumpled the handkerchief and threw it down the hall behind him, where it fluttered uselessly to the floor.


	3. Mystery Revealed

**A/N: **Ah! I had this written so long ago, and then I just forgot to post it! Kingdom Hearts muses overtook my brain again, and I didn't really like the ending of this chapter. Now that I mention it, I still don't really like it. All well. Heh.

**Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. This very angsty story is mine (awkwardly enough).

* * *

**_Second Thoughts _**

_Chapter Three  
__

* * *

_

_Tohru,_

_Uh…hi. Just wanted to say hello. You know, how are you and all that crap. And also, I needed to tell you something._

_This just doesn't feel right. Being apart. Being fake. Talking but not really talking like we used to. Avoiding and chit-chatting (because we're starting to at least do **that **now), it just doesn't seem like the way things should be between us._

_One solution: break up with Yuki._

_I've already given up enough._

_I mean…augh. What the hell am I _doing?

* * *

Kyo glared down at the letter, crumpled on his desk with the letters smeared from his fist and numerous words scratched out and rewritten. Nothing seemed good enough. Nothing seemed _right._

Grumbling angrily, he ripped the paper apart in his hands until it became shreds. He watched the grainy slips of paper, ripped and torn at the edges, slide between his fingers like water and fall to the ground in a spiralling dance. He watched, entranced, as they landed on the carpet in what seemed like some sort of puzzle. He grimaced. What, was he suddenly becoming poetic? If there was ever a puzzle it was he and Tohru, and that was definitely one he'd like to shove on the shelf and let collect dust.

_Lame, _he thought, leaning down into a squatted position to collect all the shreds of paper and throw them in the garbage, _You're just getting soft. Idiot._

It was two weeks after the school clean up. Kyo and Tohru had decided to have idle conversations once in a while, usually containing one-word phrases and stretching silences. Both were trying desperately to forget the awkward fiasco in the halls. Even now, remembering it, Kyo felt stupid. He shouldn't have broken down _there. _Not right in front of her.

"Kyon!" chirped a voice from outside of his room. Kyo was so startled he almost dropped the pieces of paper he had been so carefully picking up.

"WHAT?" he snapped, depositing the paper in the garbage quickly and almost nervously. He glanced down as a few stray pieces fluttered from his hand into the bag; were any legible?

Kyo decided they wouldn't be as Shigure popped into his room, grinning at him. "You're up so early on a Sunday," he acknowledged in a tone that sent Kyo's nerves bristling.

"Is that such a bad thing?" he grumbled, hating the playful little pout that danced all over Shigure's face.

"Well, if you ask me, it's a bit odd. Why not sleep in like any other normal teenager?"

Kyo and Shigure both knew he had said the wrong words. Shigure allowed his eyes to widen slightly in belated shock, but Kyo just grabbed a towel and stomped past Shigure.

"If you don't remember," he hissed venomously as he slid past, "I'm not _normal._"

He exited the house with a slam, leaving Shigure feeling very downhearted. "These kids," he mumbled, extracting a familiar fan from his pocket and flapping it in front of his face. "They just don't know how to have fun anymore."

* * *

Tohru and Yuki were out gardening in the Secret Base. The sun was shining brightly down on them, illuminating the green leaves of the plants below them. Some of them were bursting into flowers that would soon ripen into fruits or vegetables. Tohru's hair was wet with sweat and her fingers brown from digging around in the dirt. But she felt happy and accomplished as Yuki continued to tell her a story about something that happened at the grocery store. She wasn't really listening, because her mind had been distracted when she thought she saw a head of orange hair bobbing through the trees.

"…Tohru?" The clear voice cut through Tohru's thoughts, sending her blushing and stuttering.

"Oh—uh—um—yes, Yuki-kun?" she cried, turning to face him and fanning herself with a hand. She suddenly felt very hot.

"You seem distracted," he told her carefully, almost warily. She wondered why he was using that tone. He didn't need to act so vaguely around her!

"Uh…I'm fine." She didn't know why she was acting so jumpy lately. Well, she knew. She wouldn't lie to herself, as much as she tried to shove it to the back of her mind.

_"Please…"_

"I need a drink of water!" she lied quickly, standing up abruptly and straightening her skirt down. She smiled at Yuki. "I'll be back soon." He watched her for a few seconds with those wide, quizzical eyes of his that always made Tohru feel guilty whenever she was lying.

"…Okay," he replied slowly, and gave her a small grin. She felt relief wash over her and she turned around and trotted down the dirt path, eyes scanning subconsciously.

_"So I don't have to be the one to run again…"_

She felt tears prickling at the back of her eyes, but she blinked them back hurriedly. It had been two weeks since that incident in the halls, and she had preferred it when they hadn't talked at all compared to the tense words they felt forced to exchange with each other lately.

_"Leave…"_

He had seemed so…_helpless. _She knew it and he knew it, and that's why he was so tense. That's why whenever she was near him she could feel that anger reverberating off of him. Because he felt stupid. She knew how him well enough to realize it.

She too, felt…well…not stupid.

_Strange._

"Oof!" she cried suddenly, toppling back a few steps. An arm instinctively reached out to grab her, saving her from falling flat on her back. Blinking, she looked up to see what she had run into.

_Kyo._

This was happening way too often.

"Oh…thanks," she said softly, keeping her eyes on her toes. "Sorry, I was distracted…"

"Whatever," Kyo replied tersely, withdrawing his grip from her arm with something like hesitancy. Tohru flinched as his hand left. Not because it hurt or because it scared her.

Because it reminded her of something.

* * *

_"Tohru…"_

_A silence settled between them. Tohru couldn't see anything but the black behind her eyelids. They were squeezed tightly shut, and her nose was dug deep between her legs. She found it hard to breathe, but being up here on the roof had been somewhat relaxing._

_Until he had come up._

_By pure accident, she knew. He came up here to think, and she knew it. She had come up here, maybe following his example, for some peace and quiet. _

Maybe you wanted him to come up, _sneered a voice inside of her mind, but she tried desperately to block it out, which was unsuccessful because now she was sobbing hard. She could feel her shoulders shaking and her lungs squeaking and rasping for air. She couldn't stop the tears rolling down her cheeks that were slowly starting to burn her eyes and flesh as they fell. _

_Tohru was sick of it, but she just couldn't stop it either._

_"Hey," prompted a voice, much closer to her now. She didn't dare look up, but she knew Kyo was kneeling beside her now, the two of them perched precariously on the edge of the roof._

_She stopped snuffling._

_"What's wrong?" he asked, so softly she could barely hear it. His words were spoken in a tone she had never heard before. Harsh, hard, snappy, sure. But…nice? Sweet?_

_"Nothing," she mumbled half-heartedly. "I just a got a little out of hand." She managed to lift her gaze. She saw an ink black sky around her with a few twinkling stars in the sky. Dark trees stretched out around them, and even further the hustle and bustle of Tokyo glowed like a group of fireflies, humming in the otherwise silent night._

_"I'm so sure," he replied sarcastically, with that familiar biting edge to his voice. "I'm serious, Tohru. I've never seen you…" His words drifted off, but she knew what he meant._

_"I told you. I just got distracted." She sat up a little straighter, sniffling and wrapping her arms around her legs. She was quiet now, at least, but the tears continued to drip from her eyes. Kyo saw this and she knew it, but she also knew wiping them would be useless when they would just start falling again. _

_"Come up here to think?" he asked suddenly, changing the topic as bluntly and abruptly as he always did. Tohru glanced at him, surprised._

_"Uh…yea." Sniff._

_A small smirk played across his lips. "Same here." Silence. "What did you need to think about?"_

_Tohru frowned, feeling her lips pucker downwards when she _really _didn't want them to. "Uh…no specific reason." _Lies! _Jeered a voice. _Lies, and you know it!

_"Hmm," was all he said, his gaze moving away from her face to the view from the rooftop. "Well, I hope you figure out whatever it is you need to."_

_Tohru was no longer watching the lights of Tokyo. She was staring at Kyo, as hard as she was trying not to. "…Yea," she replied absent-mindedly, not really focussing on what he was saying._

_He looked over at her, and she knew he was surprised to see her watching him. Glancing away quickly, she felt the tears coming faster and hotter again, and before she knew it she let out a lonely hiccup._

_Kyo leaned closer, and she felt her heartbeat quicken. She knew she looked horrible, with messy hair and a red face and what was probably a swelled, red nose, but she couldn't help but feel herself hopeful, as Kyo got closer. He looked down at her, blinking._

_"You shouldn't cry," he told her softly, reaching up a sleeve from his sweater to wipe away a tear. She shivered from the contact, but managed a sniff as well. Ooh. Multitasking._

_"Why not?" she asked, her voice coming out cracked and shaky. "I have so much on my mind!"  
"Like what?" Kyo asked, his voice even softer now as he used the same sleeve to wipe tears away on the other cheek. He was now leaning sort of in front of or into her, and if he moved back even an inch he could fall off of the roof. But he didn't seem to care as he stretched over to dry a tear. Tohru sniffed again._

_"You!" she blurted out quickly, and then gasped, feeling her heart stop beating in her chest. She knew Kyo heard her, as much as she wished he hadn't, because his eyes widened and his arm froze in midair. The two were stuck in such an awkward position, one where their breath met in the air and they could stare into each other's eyes (Tohru's being rather red-rimmed) and be able to see every detail in them. _

_And without hesitation, their lips seemed to meet in mid-flight. Tohru gasped, and Kyo gasped, but neither moved. Instead, Tohru's arms snaked around Kyo's neck as his went around her waist. He leaned into her slowly, and she gasped again at the physical contact of lips on lips, hips to hips. But no one was there to interrupt them but the wind that whispered in their ears. _

_Nothing could stop them._

_Until Kyo unexpectedly transformed into a cat. Tohru found herself with her lips on air as she glanced down to see Kyo in cat form sitting in her lap, obviously stunned by the events that had just occurred._

_And without explanation he darted to the other side of the roof, and she to the ladder, where they both fled to silence to mull over what had just happened, hearts pounding, lips swollen, and minds screaming._

_They hadn't spoken since._

* * *

"Um…eh…" Tohru was searching for something to say. The memory had come in the span of two seconds, and she felt herself heating up at the thought of it. She glanced up at him, noticing his lips and remembering how they felt against her own…"I gotta go!" she squeaked, running quickly past him.

"Wha—HEY!" he yelled, swerving around to try and grab at her arm, but she was already a ways up the path, shaking her head and trying desperately to forget.

_I'm with Yuki-kun now! That was all a mistake, I _know _that! I've got to thank it in someway though…without it happening, I never would have gotten with Yuki-kun._

But is that necessarily a good thing? She thought, forcing herself to think of something else, something to block out the cynical part of her mind that had only started to show up as of late.

* * *

Kyo stared at where Tohru had been standing a few moments ago, his hand still in the air. Blinking, he shook himself from the trance-like state and continued jogging down the pebbly dirt path. Tree branches shadowed him, only allowing slants of silver sunlight to pierce through every now and then. It was a humid day, the kind where you could hear bugs buzzing as if they were all over you. 

But Kyo's mind wasn't on that. He, too, had been thinking about that night. And missing how it had felt, before he had transformed and everything had grown immensely awkward in the span of seconds.

_She seemed so confused, _he thought, panting slightly as he quickened his pace, _I wonder why…_

His eyes, which were following his shoes pounding against the dirt, flicked forward to see a shadow hovering in the distance, steadily growing larger. His gaze snapped up and he saw Yuki walking down the path towards him, his eyes searching the forest beside him, his arms wrapped around each other almost protectively. Kyo felt the impulse to stop in his tracks, but decided to just run right past him and maybe smack him in the face or something while he was it. You know, to vent out some frustrations.

Before he got a chance to do something so pleasing, Yuki's cold gaze connected with Kyo's burgundy eyes, and before he could utter one single cry of rage Yuki's right hand had Kyo's shirt collar grasped in his fist. His eyes were narrowed dangerously, and he held Kyo's feet only a few millimetres off of the ground, but Kyo knew he was teasing him with his strength and it sent his blood boiling.

"What the HELL are you doing?" Kyo roared, trying desperately to get out of Yuki's grip. His cousin surveyed him silently, eyes narrowing steadily with disgust. "WHAT?" Kyo finally snapped. "Why are you _looking _at me like that?" His voice was sharp, cracking through the tense air like a whip. Yuki didn't reply at first. Kyo could feel his first shaking through the cloth of his shirt and he wondered what could possibly make Yuki so angry. Just for a second, before he reverted to the familiar frustrated Kyo.

"What did you do to her?" he asked softly, the words barely issuing from his lips. But they were clear enough, cold and hard and making Kyo's skin crawl. It was times like these he would've liked to be able to run. Especially since Yuki seemed to know something.

"Wh—What are you talking about?" he cried half-heartedly, avoiding Yuki's eyes. He felt sweat trickling from his brow, but he knew if he wiped it away it'd be too suspicious. "_Who _are you talking about?"

The grip grew tighter on his shirt, jerking him forward an inch until they were nearly nose-to-nose. "You know whom," Yuki hissed, so vehemently Kyo felt his anger rising and erupting like a volcano before he could stop it.

With a resonating crack, Kyo kicked Yuki's arm up from under him, splintering a bone or something similar (later on that evening, Kyo discovered it had only been his shoe that had been damaged, not Yuki). Kyo glared at Yuki through slitted eyes, his breath coming out in ragged gasps. He had just been running; he did _not _need Yuki right now!

"Quit acting all up in my face, you slimy Rat!" Kyo snapped; his fists clenched in anger. "Don't you dare think you can talk to me like that! You don't know anything! ANYTHING!" he screamed louder, although Yuki was barely a foot away from him. He winced, as if Kyo's voice was merely irritating rather than painfully frightening, as it would have been to anyone else.

"Stupid Cat," he muttered, before starting to walk up the path. Kyo shook his head angrily, clenching his teeth tightly together. That…He…

A feeling of anger and hatred and something else mixed together inside of Kyo, forcing him to take two large steps after Yuki and grab him by his arm, yanking him back around (rather forcefully) so the two were staring face-to-face again.

"Don't think," Kyo began breathlessly, a stony smirk playing on his lips, "That you _own _her. Don't you think for even a second you can keep me away from her." He gave Yuki a full-out grin, although it _was _somewhat malicious. Yuki's eyes widened at Kyo's words, but fell back down to their familiar slitted hatred.

"So you did do something."

Kyo snorted, the towel around his neck fluttering in the breeze. The silence stretched before Kyo bothered to answer. "Maybe," he drawled, feeling great enjoyment in watching Yuki grow increasingly uncomfortable and irate. It definitely gave him a sick sort of pleasure, having power over one thing in Yuki's life, even if he'd rather have it himself.

"I'm not going to fall for your elementary tricks," Yuki snapped icily, stiffening his shoulders in resigned resolution. "Try that with some third grader next time you see one."

Kyo's bubble of ecstasy was immediately popped at Yuki's harsh words. The pleasure was erased by the mounting anger once more.

Yuki gave Kyo one last hard glance, and then turned around on the path to continue his quick trek through the trees. Kyo watched him with eyes burning with hatred. He hadn't spoken up again, hadn't struck him with his fist, as he would have normally done.

No, he would wait for the right moment. Yuki would get his share of pain soon, if Kyo had things go his way.

Turning around to continue his jog, Kyo remembered the feeling of kissing Tohru and smiled to himself.

There was no chance of him giving up hope. Not now, when he knew the tables might just start turning. After all, something was wrong with Yuki and Tohru. Why else would he have assumed Kyo did something to her?

Whistling, Kyo began his jogging again, looking forward to seeing how events played out. He still had a chance; maybe he hadn't ruined things between them after all.


	4. Dazed and Confused

**A/N: **Geez, Self, way to take ages! I'm immensely sorry guys. I'm busy with finals and lots of tests and lots of work. And I was trying to finish off my FFX-2 story (which I did, yay!) and lots of other junk. Sorry, sorry, sorry. I think it was worth the wait though. Teehee.

**Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. This very angsty story is mine (awkwardly enough).

* * *

**_Second Thoughts_**

_Chapter Four_

* * *

Breakfast the next morning was expectedly tense. Yuki would not look up from his bowl; Kyo only managed to stay seated for the very bare minimum, but halfway through the meal he had made a noise of discontent and sped out of the room; Tohru was always hopping up, claiming she forgot to grab something or cook something or pack something. She stayed away longer then she stayed seated. And Shigure was—of course—oblivious (or so he seemed) and was content to read his morning paper and watch things unfold (no pun intended) from over top the paper.

For the first time in as long as Tohru could remember, she walked to school alone. Without Yuki _or _Kyo. It was obvious with Kyo…but Yuki? He had walked out of the house before she had been able to speak a single word aside from good morning to him.

Not that she would have spoken anyway.

Shaking her head furiously, Tohru tried to straighten out her thoughts. She had some peace now, so she might as well use it. It was obvious something had happened between Yuki and Kyo yesterday…she wanted to ask Yuki, but was afraid it might bring up complications in their relationship. She knew she shouldn't have been afraid. After all, it was _Yuki! _What was the most he would do, laugh at her? Maybe she would ask—later. Much later.

And Kyo…she remembered the stumbled run-in in the woods and just blushed at the memory. He had tried to say something to her. She remembered his voice yelling at her as she had galloped down the path. _I wonder what I would have heard if I had turned around, _she mused quietly, kicking a stray pebble softly as she neared an intersection milling with people. _I wonder…_She shook her head once more. Tohru shouldn't have been wondering! At all! At least, not as curiously as she was.

"I don't understand," she mumbled to herself, nibbling at her bottom lip nervously. "Things were going fine before all of this happened. The roof…" She blushed, even though she was alone, "Yuki…it was all good _before._"

Tohru had never found herself aching for the past, but instead always yearning for the future. But right now, more then anything, she wanted to rewind time to before all of this had happened.

* * *

_"Tohru? Yo! Tohru!" Uotani's voice snapped Tohru out of her trance. She looked up at her friend blearily, smiling. "Oh, hello Uo-chan!"_

_"Good morning is more like it," her friend smirked, crossing her arms defiantly as she looked down at her friend forcefully. "What were you staring at?"  
"M—Me?" Tohru squeaked out, eyes glancing nervously to the back of the head they had been glued onto earlier. "I don't know what you're talking about, Uo-chan!" she laughed nervously. _

_Uotani's eyes had followed Tohru's, and Tohru began to blush as she saw her friend inspecting the back of Kyo. Turning back around to face her, she jerked her head in Kyo's direction._

_"What's up with that?" she asked softly, bending down to look at Tohru curiously. "Did you two get in another fight or something?"_

_Tohru shook her head furiously; eyes squeezed shut and hands clenched on her lap. "No!" she cried out, knowing she was blushing. "Kyo-kun's been strangely nice lately…" She bit at her bottom lip, scuffed a shoe on the floor, and tugged at the back of her braid nervously before looking up at Uotani._

_"Um…Uo-chan…"_

_"Yea?"_

_Tohru glanced anxiously at Kyo again, who was now laughing at something with another student. "What do you do if you think you…um…" Her voice quieted to barely above a whisper, "if you think you…like someone?"_

* * *

Tohru hadn't told Uo who it had been, as much as her friend poked and prodded and guess (correctly). But Tohru just…couldn't. She hadn't cared if it had been obvious. It had been a secret she would've taken to the grave with her.

But now…everything had turned upside down and around and opposite. What had happened? For nearly the past year, things had been a complete blur.

Straightening up, Tohru crossed the street as the light changed. Being amid all of the hustle and bustle of the people made her feel a tiny bit better, and she didn't know why. Maybe because she was away from it all: school, home, shopping, errands…everywhere she went, they haunted her.

* * *

"YUN-YUN!" The squeaky voice attacked Yuki as he heard the pattering of footsteps behind him. Whirling around, he saw Kimi racing towards him with a huge smile on her face. He paled and managed to grab her arm and side step her before she could jump on him and hug him, which she had obviously been planning to do. He saw the pout form on her face as she turned to look up at him.

"What's wrong, Yun-Yun?" she asked casually, eyes wide. Yuki watched her warily in case she was planning to secretly try and hug him again. "You don't look so happy."

Yuki started back, immediately rearranging his features to be neutral. "…I don't know what you mean, Kimi," he insisted softly, looking her straight in the eye and trying his hardest not to blink. "I'm perfectly fine."

"Girl troubles?" Kimi purred, guessing it right on the dot. Yuki tried his hardest not to act surprised. "I bet I could be a better girlfriend to you, Yun-Yun," Kimi said with a pout in her voice. Yuki reacted that time, frowning slightly at her although he knew it was a joke.

"My relationship is fine and none of your business," Yuki told her passively, looking up at the roof. "It's…fine…" He felt his face furrow with worry as he thought of Tohru, standing in front of him and laughing, showing him the latest strawberry she had unearthed…

And then Kyo's face emerged. Lately she had been acting so strange…Yuki was trying his hardest not to let Kyo's words affect him, but they did. They kept him from doing his schoolwork properly; he zoned out on school council meetings trying to figure out their meaning; and last night he had found it impossible to sleep.

"Yun-Yun?" Yuki glanced back down at Kimi, who was tugging at his uniform sleeve. "Come on." She began dragging him down the hall to their next class, and he didn't object, finding it too difficult to think clearly.

His mind was still on Tohru.

* * *

Kyo sat in the dojo, grunting as he struggled to untie the shoelaces of his shoes. He had double-knotted them, and now they just _wouldn't _come undone!

"Shoes off before coming in, Kyo," stated a quiet voice from behind him. Kyo jerked up from his sitting up position, surprised to see Kazuma behind him.

"Shishou!" he cried out, glaring down at his shoe. "I was just taking it off! But the laces won't come undone!" Kyo was about to continue arguing when he saw Kazuma giving him a small smile.

"Just like when you were little," Kazuma told him idly. _That _annoyed Kyo. With a growl, he kicked off his shoe and sent it flying to the other side of the empty room. It landed on the wooden floor with a dull thud.

"Are you ready to practice, Kyo?" Kyo winced at Kazuma's words. That actually wasn't why he had come to the dojo on a day he normally didn't (hence no Kagura).

"Well, Shishou, I actually had to ask you something…" His face was heating up now, and he looked down at his socked feet.

"Well, why didn't you just visit me at home?" Kazuma asked with a smile in his words. Kyo hesitated, and then shrugged.

"I dunno," he told him, when inside a voice was screaming, _Because I needed to talk to you _right now

"Well, all right." Kazuma kneeled easily on the hard wooden floor. "I'm always open to a conversation, Kyo."

Kyo watched uneasily as Kazuma looked at him with steady eyes. Blowing his bangs up in an annoyed way, Kyo flopped down beside Kazuma, crossing his legs messily and leaning his elbows against his knees, head resting in his hands. He was silent for a long time, eyes focussed on the grains in the floor. He lifted a hand to trace the patterns, his brow furrowed. He knew Kazuma wouldn't rush him.

"If…" He stopped; horrified to hear his voice was almost quivering. He coughed into his fist, feeling his face heat up again. Kyo tried again, still not looking at Kazuma.

"Okay. I know this…_guy _from, uh, school." He stopped, too muddled to continue.

"…I see." Kazuma's soft voice finally caused Kyo to flicker his gaze upwards; he saw his father smiling at him. "So what is it this student friend of yours needs?"

"He…er…he told me that he liked this girl." Blush, blush. "But she's—um—" He hesitated, trying to think. He couldn't say she was dating another boy, because that was too obvious!

"She's dating another guy." _Oh, well that plan went to hell. _

Kazuma was silent. Kyo swore steam was issuing out of his ears due to embarrassment. It was terrible asking for love advice! He felt like a ten-year-old or something.

"So…what does this student need?" Kyo could hear the mocking laughter in Kazuma's voice he always tried so hard to hide when he was on the brink of teasing Kyo.

"I don't know!" Kyo snapped glaring at him quickly before busying his gaze with the floor again. "He just told me for some stupid reason I don't know! I don't…" Kyo let his sentence drift, because his mind was clicking and whirring again.

"I think that…he wants to tell her how he feels," he said quietly, hesitating with his words. "But he doesn't know how to, because I'm afraid of what she'll sa—" Kyo stopped abruptly, his eyes widening to the size of dinner plates. Did he just--? Oh no. _No way in Hell. _Had he just _SAID _that?

Kyo's face was a brilliant shade of tomato now, and he knew it. He heard a soft chuckle from Kazuma. "So he's afraid?" he asked, as if Kyo just hadn't given it away it was himself he was talking about.

"Huh?" he asked stupidly, finally watching Kazuma. His face was relaxed, although his eyes definitely proved he was worried. "Oh—uh—I guess…" Kyo frowned. "Shishou, it's just so hard!" he finally muttered, grinding his knuckles into the floor. "It's not…_me._"

"No, Kyo." Kazuma reached out a hand to pat his lightly on the shoulder; Kyo looked up into his master's eyes. They were filled now with concern and hope. "It _is _you—just a different side of you. You must learn to accept these events and embrace them."

One hour later, Kyo left the dojo bewildered and confused. Well…that hadn't been what he was expecting. Maybe a love potion, as stupid as that sounded. Some wise words of wisdom about the birds and the bees.

"It's Shishou," he snorted to himself. "Obviously he has to make things more difficult." He stuffed his hands in his jeans pockets and kicked at a stray pebble on the sidewalk. It was a calm lane in Tokyo, where only a few couples milled about the small cobblestone street. Trees towered over the street, shielding Kyo from the sun. The small houses were rickety and groaning, as if anxious to tell their tales from the many years they had stood. But Kyo was only worried about one thing.

He was getting anxious.

* * *

Meanwhile, as Kyo was milling around Tokyo and trying to sort out his feelings, Tohru was on the balcony, pinning up the laundry. She was so nervous that her fingers had slipped numerous times already, sending pins through the cracks in the wood and tumbling down onto the soft earth below the deck. She tried humming, but it did nothing to soothe her nerves. What was she going to say? She knew she had to talk to Yuki soon, not only because of her own confusion, but because Yuki had been very distant today and—well—for the last few weeks as well.

Finally she heard the clicking of the door opening below her. She peered down the balcony railing and was both relieved and scared to see Yuki slipping out of his shoes before stepping in.

"Yuki-kun!" she cried, waving at him as he glanced up, surprised. He smiled.

"Hello," he replied giving her a small wave back.

"I'll be down in a moment!" she told him, pinning up one last towel before sliding out of her apron, hanging it on a peg, and tumbling down the hall, tromping down the stairs, and finally sliding into the entryway. Yuki stood patiently, waiting. His face was expressionless.

"Do you need to talk to me, Tohru-san?" He had finally managed to drop the Honda, but that was about as far as he would allow his polite self to go.

"Well, um, a bit." She was suddenly panicky. She dug the toe of her sock into the mats underneath them. She heard Yuki sigh softly.

"All right. How about the kitchen?"

* * *

Kyo stood outside of the house, glaring at the cage that forced him to be near Tohru. Things were just so…Augh! She had run _away _from him in the woods for God's sake. Run away! Probably because he had had that goddamn mental breakdown in the hallway. What was he, some sort of pansy now?

"Get a grip," he muttered to himself, sliding out of his shoes as he stepped lightly into the house. It was eerily silent, and Kyo felt the need to keep the peace. He slid the door closed so softly even he could barely hear it. He set his bag down silently on the ground and slipped quietly through the wooden halls of their home, deciding it would be wise to grab some food. He was starving. And thinking always made him hungry.

"…Don't know what you mean."

Kyo hesitated when he was a few meters away from the kitchen door. He heard Tohru's voice clearly, just finish off a sentence he hadn't been able to hear the rest of.

"Tohru-san, you know what I mean. You've been acting…different lately." Kyo nearly gasped. Yuki! He felt strange listening to what obviously seemed like one of those emotional intimate relationship conversations, but…it was Yuki. Did he honestly care what Yuki thought?

As he took a sidled step closer, Kyo _did _feel a bit guilty. After all, Tohru was in there. But it was the perfect chance to learn what the hell was going on in their messed up relationship.

"Different?" her voice was fighting desperately not to quiver. "Well, only because you've seemed so distant lately, Yuki-kun." There was a tense pause. "I don't like it," she added in a half-hearted mumble.

"Am I?" The question didn't sound as honestly surprised as it should have. "I'm sorry Tohru-san, I didn't notice."

"Are you mad at me?" she asked softly, ignoring Yuki's last sentence. There was only a short halt.

"Of course not! I could never be angry with you, Tohru-san."

"But something's on your mind, isn't it?"

"As well as yours."

Kyo felt his heart lurch in his ribcage; he actually reached out to his chest as if to stop it from hopping out and proclaiming its love to Tohru. _It could be anything, _he forced himself to think.

"We shouldn't have secrets," she whispered in a heart-breaking voice.

"I know that," Yuki's reassuring answer seemed to calm the sniffling Tohru. "It's just that…I ran into Kyo yesterday."

Kyo sucked in his breath sharply. _Holy crap, _he thought. _He isn't actually going to tell her what I _said, _is he? _

"Oh?" Tohru sounded genuinely surprised. "And…"

"And it just set me on edge. He seemed…prying."

"About…us?" The question was breathless; Kyo shivered at its tone.

"Yes. It just irritated me, that's all." By Yuki's tone, Kyo knew he hadn't liked the way Tohru had questioned him.

"Oh…I see…" Silence. Then, a meek voice. "If you don't mind me asking…"

"It was nothing," Yuki replied vaguely. "But what's wrong with you?" A softer tone.

"Nothing! Nothing!" Quiet. Kyo suspected Yuki was watching her with those disappointed eyes. His theory proved correct, because Tohru managed to squeak out an answer. "Well…I was talking…well…Do you think we rushed into this too fast?"

It took everything Kyo had not to gasp and fall or something. The air was so thick and tense it was reaching Kyo where he was in the hall.

"You mean…?"

"Yes." Firm.

"I—I don't know." For once in his life, Yuki sounded unsure. "I thought things were going great, but lately…"

"I don't know. I don't think I'm the type of girl who can…I don't know! I never saw myself in a relationship at this time, you know? With school…and…and work…" She didn't sound so convincing anymore. In fact, her voice was trembling. "I just don't know," she whispered.

The silence after was so dreadful Kyo didn't know what to do. He wanted to look so badly, but he already felt awful enough.

"I have to go!" Tohru suddenly blurted, and there was the sound of Tohru standing up hurriedly, stomping out of the kitchen towards Kyo. He had enough sense to jump back from the wall and act like he was just walking towards the kitchen.

He was just congratulating himself on his stealth when Tohru burst out of the open kitchen door, her eyes red with tears and her hair messy. Her clothes were uncharacteristically rumpled and her face was crumbling; she thought she was alone.

Until Kyo's eyes met with Tohru's eyes. There was an electrical jolt both of them felt and neither could ignore; Tohru stared at him, lips quivering, head shaking back and forth. "No," she whispered softly. "You didn't hear, did…?"

Kyo couldn't answer. He found it almost impossible to lie to Tohru. He only stared at her hard, trying to make her see what he felt. _I love you! _He thought pathetically yet fiercely; but of course she couldn't hear.

Without another word Tohru tore down the hall, her light footsteps running up the steps onto the second floor. When they were nearly non-existent, Kyo peeked into the kitchen door nervously. Yuki was leaning against the counter, head in his hands. Kyo didn't know how to feel. A mixture of pity, pride, and hatred churned in his body; he was tempted to go punch him, just for the sake of it. But his better judgement took over and Kyo ran down the hall and followed the path of Tohru; he knew where she was going.

* * *

Tohru had been in the process of trying to fumble up the ladder to the roof, but the towels were now blowing furiously in the vicious wind that had started up. They kept slapping at her, nearly sending her toppling off of the ladder.

"Stop it!" she screeched. "Please, stop it Towel-san!" It just hit her again on the legs for good measure; she felt herself going wobbly.

"TOHRU!" The voice was sudden and booming. It almost sent her toppling faster than the towels had. She whirled her head around to glance over by the door.

It was Kyo.

She was not even three rungs up the ladder yet, but she desperately wished she were higher. Tohru felt her stomach drop at the prediction of the kind of awkward conversation they would have. He had heard it! He had heard her whine and stress about her not "being ready"! How horribly immature had she sounded? How could anyone chase her through the house after the way she had acted?

They stood, watching each other. Kyo's face was red, his breathing a bit shallow. His gaze was steady though, even though his orange hair was tumbling around his head in the wind.

"Yuki-kun has always been so nice to me," she started randomly, feeling tears collect in her eyes as she stuttered out the words over the quiet shriek of the wind. Her own hair was whirling around her head, making it difficult to see Kyo. "I'm so horrible to repay him this way!" She began to sob, resting her forehead against the metal of the ladder, her hands gripped to the rung lower. "I'm so selfish!" she cried again, her hold on the rung growing tighter.

"No." The words were firm. "Stop feeling so sorry for yourself. Telling someone how you feel doesn't mean you're selfish. It means…" A pause. "It means you're brave," he whispered. Tohru blinked, taking a shaky glance over at him.

"Kyo-kun…" She didn't know what to do. The two stared at each other for a bit longer, neither really knowing what to do. The only thing both could think about was the kiss on the roof.

Kyo took two steps closer until he was right beside Tohru; even though she was on the rungs he was still as tall as her. She could see right into his eyes now, see the light dots of freckles on his face…even hear his ragged breathing.

"Tohru, I—you shouldn't—I didn't mean to listen."

Tohru gave a shaky smile. "It's okay." Even though it wasn't.

Kyo's smile faded, and he pushed her hair back away from her eyes. "It's windy out," he whispered softly, trying to smile. Tohru did too, but all that came were more spilled tears. Why did all of them care about her so much, when she was so selfish?

"It wasn't windy awhile ago."

Silence.

"I think…" Kyo halted, as if unsure of how to go on. Tohru unconsciously leaned to the side so she would be closer; she still felt off balance as the towels occasionally pelted her teasingly.

"Yes?" she asked breathlessly. His gaze flickered to her almost nervously, before they focussed on his gripped hands. He lifted one hesitantly, his hand resting tensely on the side of the ladder, inches away from Tohru's face. The two of them didn't even blink as they watched each other.

"Kyo, I—"

She didn't even have a moment to think. He leaned in hungrily, his lips landing on hers with a force of passion Tohru hadn't felt in a long time. She gasped, pulling away quickly. She gazed at him, wide-eyed. Kyo was still leaned in, in the position he had been in when he had kissed her. His brow was furrowed dangerously; she knew he knew he had screwed up. But Tohru, albeit the beating heart and the nervous gnawing of her stomach and what Yuki would think (she wasn't even sure what had happened down there), she felt the need for more. It was a yearning. She had grown over it since that first time so many months ago…

But now, it had been renewed. And as much as she tried to force herself to be _normal, _you're with _Yuki, _right? She couldn't stop…She hated feeling this desperate. Hadn't Yuki been enough?

"No," she whispered softly to her own question. Kyo's eyes snapped open, and they looked horrified—scared. Something Tohru hadn't seen in so long.

She knew he had taken it the wrong way. "No, wait! Kyo-kun!" But he had already taken a step back. He had already blocked her out.

"I shouldn't have done that," he told her, his head shaking back and forth slightly. "I screwed up. Crap."

"Kyo-kun, it's not—" She tried to take a step off of the ladder, but stumbled. She didn't know if it was a combination of being beaten by wind and towels and arguing with Yuki and being (passionately) kissed by Kyo, but all she knew was that she felt immensely dizzy.

"Holy--!" Strong arms grabbed her waist. They pulled her up so she was standing. Tohru blinked, green dots blurry in her vision as they floated away. Kyo stood before, eyes wide with both confusion and earlier terror. "Did I…?"

"Kyo-kun," Tohru began, taking a step closer. He didn't move this time, but stiffened. "I missed us talking." Her voice was quivering. "I missed sitting on the roof with you." Big breathes. "And I really missed…"

They both knew. _The kisses. _They had only shared one before, but it had been a moment for them both.

"But you stopped!" Kyo almost shouted, half angry and half pleading. "Why did you--?"

"I'm scared!" she yelled, causing an unsettled silence. "I'm scared!" Tears were falling now. "I'm scared of what you do to me!"

The words were so abrupt, so sudden, that both stood frozen to the spot. Finally, Kyo took a step forward and wiped her tears away. "Sorry," he told her tenderly, although she saw a glint of happiness in his eyes.

"I'm more sorry," she replied obediently, bowing her head.

The next thing she knew, Kyo had lifted up her head and was kissing her again, this time softer. Slower. Thoughtful. Tohru didn't care. It felt wonderful, whatever it was.

"I missed that too," Kyo whispered as they broke away. Tohru gave a watery grin and leaned in again as if asking. Kyo obliged, and the two were in a passionate kiss once again, one that Tohru had never known before. It was so full of hunger and need, loneliness, patience and time that it sent her knees wobbling. Never had she felt this way. Not even with Yuki.

"What…?" A different voice. One filled with outrage and confusion and despair. The two sprang apart, Tohru hating herself for missing the warmth of Kyo's lips and his body, as far away as it had been. She glanced meekly at the door to see Yuki standing halfway down the hall, eyes wide and horrified.

"Oh my goodness," Tohru whispered, clapping her hands to her mouth. Kyo could only stand warily. "Yuki-kun, I…"

"I thought we were going to fix things," Yuki whispered delicately; his eyes were wide. "I can see I was wrong." He turned swiftly down the hall, taking slow and anxious steps towards his room.

Tohru could only stand, confused and afraid, angry with herself and, yes, wanting to kiss Kyo again. What was _wrong _with her?

"Tohru?" Kyo was closer again. His face was filled with concern.

She gave him a weak smile. "I need to go think," she told him gently. And without another word she climbed back up the ladder and managed to find her way onto the roof. Once up and standing on the grainy shingles below her, Tohru felt her lips quiver—her eyes shedding tears. And then she began to weep, sinking low to the roof and trying her hardest to keep the crying hushed.

But she didn't know that Kyo stood at the base of the ladder, grimacing at her sobs and tracing his lips with his fingers. As horrible as he felt, he couldn't help but think in that obnoxious part of his mind…

_It was worth it. _


	5. Break Ups and Kind of Make Ups

**A/N: **I am a SLOTH. But man, this chapter gave me the biggest writer's block known to humanity, I swear! Argh, this story is taking me forever! Sorry, sorry, sorry (if anyone is still reading, hahaha)! I'll try to stay more on top of things, but this story is giving me a lot of trouble. I need to fix that. Grrrr.

**Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. This very angsty story is mine (awkwardly enough).

* * *

**_Second Thoughts_**

_Chapter Five_

* * *

"I need to have a word with you."

The words weren't harsh, but kind. Tohru peeked out of her door to see Shigure standing in the hall, his fan still flapping in his grip. Tohru stiffened. Shigure never came into her hall. What was going on?

"Oh, yes! Please, come in." She opened her door wider, taking a seat on the floor abruptly. Shigure chuckled, sitting down on the floor across from her, still waving his fan in front of his face like it was the hottest day outside. His eyes were their usual thoughtful cloudiness. Tohru sat straight, hands clasped in her lap and lips trying not to quiver.

Shigure quirked an eyebrow, but didn't say anything else except for, "so, who won?"

Tohru's body deflated at his words; her back sank and her arms crumpled in her lap. "Pardon me?" she asked miserably, although she had an inkling about why Shigure was in her room.

"Kyo-kun or Yuki-kun? I see both of them very stiff and boring." Shigure rolled his eyes to the heavens as if asking for help. "And you," he added, poking his fan in her direction. She flinched. "You haven't made many appearances either." He smiled almost grimly. "Do tell."

Tohru shivered although there was no cold in the air. "Um…ah…Yuki-kun and I are going through some troubles," she mumbled vaguely.

"And Kyo-kuuuun…"

"Kind of…_is _the trouble?" she squeaked, risking a glance at Shigure. He nodded sagely, as if he had suspected it all along.

"Well, I must say we're going to need to cheer those two boys up!" Shigure cried, standing up and yawning. "Or this house will become dreadfully boring, and I might just have to call Aaya." He smiled at Tohru, and she smiled shakily back. "Just remember, Tohru-kun, you'll have to face them sooner rather than later." He pointed the fan at her again, but not in an accusing way. "You'll have to sort through your feelings before then."

Tohru nodded numbly, not truly believing this conversation was happening. "Yes!" she cried, dutifully, jerking her head in affirmation. Shigure smiled.

"There's a good flower," he crowed, and then moved gracefully out of Tohru's bedroom, closing her door with a soft snap.

It had been a painful two days for Tohru. Yuki wouldn't look her in the eye. He wouldn't even stay with her in the same room. He came out of his bedroom late at night to sneak out food from supper to eat. It made Tohru sad when she heard him downstairs in the kitchen, making noise as he moved around.

Kyo was apathetic about it all, managing to stay in the same room with Tohru and even talk to her a little. But he wouldn't mention what happened on the balcony, and neither would Tohru. So they were stuck in an awkward rut.

Tohru didn't know what to do. She liked Yuki, she really did! But things had been growing strange the past few months. Tohru had a fear that it was because she had never wanted to date Yuki from the beginning. Hadn't dating him all spawned from her and Kyo's argument? So why had she even done it?

Shaking her head, Tohru moaned and flopped face-first down on her bed. What was she going to _do? _She didn't want to hurt Yuki more than she already had. She wanted to try to get better, wanted to try and like him again, just for Yuki's sake. She hated it when he was sad.

But remembering Kyo, with the kisses and the smiles and the helpful words, just made her heart flutter.

What she had told Yuki was true, though. She wasn't ready for a relationship yet. Why did she have to be so indecisive? She much preferred being friends with both of them, rather than having to choose between them and have tense moments for the rest of her life.

She sighed, thinking. She would have to do it, then. She would have to tell both she just didn't feel that way anymore.

Tohru buried her head in her quilts, feelings water itch at the back of her eyes. Kyo wouldn't believe her no matter what. Hadn't she just kissed him? Bared her soul to him? Sort of. How would she explain what she had said?

_"I'm scared of what you do to me!"_

Maybe he would understand. Tohru nibbled her lip in thought, resting her head in her hands. She just wanted peace again, to be friends with everyone.

But she knew she would think of both of them completely different, now that she had kissed them both. A silly thought, really, but in her mind she would always be subtly comparing their differences. And she hated that new part of her mind, and she wanted to block it out and pretend it didn't exist.

"I'll have to try my best," she murmured devotedly, lugging herself out of bed to pick clothes. "As Shigure-san said, I have to do _something._"

* * *

Kyo was sitting at the _kotatsu_, nibbling on jerky and thinking over the past day's events. He could tell Tohru was troubled, so he had just let things drop. He'd rather kiss her again and again and again, but he knew that was basically off-limits right now. She always tried to hide how she felt, but it was difficult for her to feign being comfortable.

Running a hand through his hair absently, Kyo almost didn't hear Tohru enter the kitchen. _Almost_.

He sat up slowly, stretching and walking lethargically into the kitchen. She was standing in front of the stove, seemingly cooking but Kyo could obviously see two problems here. First of all, there was nothing on the stove, and second of all, she was staring at the wall opposite of her, clearly out of it.

He blinked, and felt his cheeks warming up at just the memory of the kisses. He had been doing a good job of acting nonchalant, but _damn_, he just wanted to do it all over again. But fear held him back. Hadn't it always?

"Tohru?" he asked quietly, causing her to squeak and whirl to face him. She grinned nervously, her hands wringing anxiously in front of her. Kyo quirked an eyebrow, and knew right there something was wrong. Dread seeped into his body.

"O—Oh! Kyo-kun, you scared me!" She smiled, but it seemed a little _too _happy to Kyo.

"I thought you'd be used to it by now," he muttered, walking lazily over to the refrigerator. Before he could open it up, he felt Tohru's hand rest on his shoulder for a fleeting moment. When he looked down at her, her brow was furrowed, her eyes glinting determinedly. For a brief, ecstatic moment Kyo thought she was going to kiss him, but instead she gripped his hand tightly with both of her petite ones.

"I need to tell you something," she whispered out, her lips barely moving. Kyo's eyes widened, and he felt just like he had that day many months ago.

* * *

"Tea?" she asked feebly. Kyo shook his head irritably. The two were still standing in the exact same position, Tohru's hands still clasped over his. She felt his anger and distress and knew she was growing smaller and smaller.

"Tohru, just tell me what's up." His voice was dark, and it frightened her. Her grip tightened out of instinct.

"I—I need to say that…" She squeezed her eyes shut for a brief moment. Did she want to do this? She remembered his lips on hers, those moments of heated bliss. She remembered Kyo's kind words to her all her time at the Sohma house. All the moments they had shared…everything. For a split second she was going to say "Nevermind", but the thought caught of her off guard and she hurried before she could look back.

"I'm not ready!" she began, looking up at him pleadingly. "You heard what I said. You…what you do to me…it scares me." She bit her bottom lip so hard she thought it was going to bleed. And Kyo's face was expressionless, the marble-like features that always sent Tohru on edge. "I can't be in a relationship…not right now." And before she could stop them the tears were pouring down her cheeks. "I'm…I'm…" She sniffed heartily. "I'm sorry!" And she bowed.

Silence ensued. Such heavy, deafening, thick silence that Tohru felt like she couldn't breathe. "Stop bowing," he ordered gruffly, pulling out the hand she held and using it to push her head up. His face was furrowed with anger and exhaustion, and Tohru felt absolutely _horrible. _

"Kyo-kun, I—"

"Ssh." He placed a hand in front of her face. She stopped abruptly, watching him nervously. "I don't need any stupid excuses." He shrugged, and it was lucky he was better at hiding his feelings than Tohru. "It's…It's fine."

She sighed with relief. "Really?"

Kyo fidgeted. "Really." And then he patted her head and marched out of the kitchen. Tohru felt a little better.

A lot better than Kyo did.

And as he walked out of the kitchen, he struggled to keep his steps straight. His breathing was coming out irregularly and he didn't know what was wrong with him. Why did he care so damn much? It was just a girl. Just some kisses. He needed to grow up! He wasn't going to do what he did those months ago, when she had admitted to him about dating Yuki. He wasn't going to hide. To run. To cry.

He was going to stand tall and face her. Because damn it, if she was going to break his heart like this over and over again, it just wasn't worth it anymore.

* * *

_"What you saw…it wasn't what you think. I was scared and afraid and…confused…"_

_"Please, Yuki-kun, _please _believe me!"_

_"But I just can't date anyone right now. School and work and you and Kyo-kun fighting all of the time…" Cry cry. _

_"The tension scares me!"_

_"I just want us all to be friends again…"_

Yuki stared at his hands that were crossed on his lap. He sat at his desk in his bedroom, his gardening book open as if he was reading it.

But he wasn't.

Instead, he was rehashing over what Tohru had just told him earlier that day. Couldn't be with him? Couldn't _be _with him? Why? Why _not_? Was it that stupid Cat?

…No. She had said it wasn't. She had told him over and over she was alone; she was just stressed and scared. And he couldn't hate her for that. Because he still loved her, and his heart wanted her to be happy.

But why couldn't he ever be happy either?

_She's so innocent…she doesn't realize how much pain she's causing, _Yuki thought miserably, and for a fleeting second remembered Kyo and Tohru's kiss he had seen. And once he had seen, he had known. It had been so heated and full of something he and Tohru had never shared.

_So why was she doing this to Kyo as well?_

* * *

Tohru stood out on the balcony, clipping wet clothes to the line to dry. Well, that had gone well! All in a day's work, she supposed. Now things could go back to normal and she wouldn't have to feel a heavy weight on her heart anymore.

Humming to herself, Tohru clipped a sleeve of Kyo's shirt to the line. For a lingering moment she touched the hem, but then pulled away and giggled nervously to herself. What was wrong with her?

Thinking over it again, both had taken it so well. _But I'm just being conceited! _She thought seriously. _Why would they be sad, anyway? After all, it's not like I meant _everything _to them or something! That's just rude to think._

And she went back to drying the clothes, humming a little more quietly as she went on. As much as her mind tried to tell her over and over again she had done the right thing, something still weighed heavily in her heart.

Yes, she had felt horrible talking to Yuki, but it was what she truly felt and she couldn't do anything about that. But Kyo…she had lied so blatantly there, and he had taken it so well.

_He must not really like me at all! _Tohru thought miserably. _But why am I worrying, anyway? I told him nothing could happen…_

"I'm just being silly," Tohru mumbled to herself. "Everything can go back to normal now. Yes."

But saying the words felt even more false than thinking them.

* * *

The next morning was, if possible, much more tense than the last. For the first time in two days all four of them sat at the table. Kyo was silent, and Yuki was still half-asleep. And Tohru, of course, tried to make conversation. But the only one that replied to anything was Shigure. And even that got boring after a while.

"Oh, you two!" Shigure finally cried, exasperated and slamming his newspaper down on the table. Yuki and Kyo both glared at him at the exact same time, but Shigure only watched them grimly. "The hearts of youth are such fragile, weak things," he burst out poetically, clenching a fist dramatically. "But wouldn't you say things like this would help strengthen it?" Shaking his head and making 'tsk, tsk' noises at Yuki and Kyo, he hid his face back under his newspaper.

Yuki and Kyo could only stare through the paper venomously, and when both realized they were doing the same thing, looked away from each other abruptly.

"Um—oh! It's time for school!" Tohru chirped, gathering plates up from the table. She smiled warmly, but got no reply.

"I'll see you there," was the only reaction she got, and that was from Kyo. He stood up without looking at her and stalked to the door, slamming it not-so-subtly as he went. Tohru frowned nervously.

"Have I done something wrong?" she asked naively, nibbling at her lip. He hadn't acted like this yesterday!

"Honda-san," Yuki said lightly, standing up as well. She noticed anxiously he had reverted to his old way of addressing her. He at least managed to look at her, but it was not the friendliest gaze she had ever seen. "What do you think?" he asked quietly, and then stepped lightly out of the room.

Tohru watched him leave, horrified. Oh no! She had made a bigger mess out of things after all! "Oh, Shigure-san!" Tohru cried, feeling tears pool in her eyes. She fell limply to the ground, hugging a plate to her chest. "What have I _done_?"

There was a silence before Shigure replied over his newspaper. She watched his dark eyes gazing at her for a moment. "You did what you thought was right, Tohru-kun."

She glanced back out of the kitchen doorway anxiously. "I'm not so sure…" She couldn't finish her sentence. _I'm not so sure it was right, after all._

* * *

"Did you have a fight?"

Hanajima's ghostly voice floated beside Kyo's ear. He jerked up, glaring into those glassy eyes that always scared the hell out of him. "What?" he snapped. He did _not _need any reminders of Tohru right now, and that included her psychopathic best friends.

"You and Tohru-kun." She pointed a black nail in the direction of Tohru, who was sitting at the back desk and scribbling away on something.

Kyo paled. Was he that obvious, the way he sighed and scuffled along through the school? The way he wouldn't look anyone in the eye, and especially staying a classroom away from Tohru?

"I…don't know what you're talking about," he muttered. "Stay the hell out of my business, anyway!"

Hanajima placed a finger to her lips thoughtfully and grew silent. Kyo felt his nerves stretching and snapping at her freaky behaviour. "WHAT?" he finally shouted, although it didn't make a difference; homeroom was always noisy.

"Oh, nothing. Just that…" Silence. "Tohru-kun wouldn't tell me what happened with you either."

Kyo risked a sideways glance at Tohru. She was staring off into space, unblinking. He shuddered. He hated himself right now for wanted to go talk to her. Just when he had assumed things would get better…

"It's not even worth it anymore," he mumbled to himself. But Hanajima heard and made a noise of discontent. Kyo glared at her.

"Got anything else to lecture me about?" he hissed threateningly.

"Lecture? Of course not." And she glided away.

_What the hell? _Kyo thought angrily, grinding his knuckles into the desk. _Can't I just be happy for once? _

* * *

Tohru was walking out of school and back home, her mind whirring vehemently. She had been thinking all day, not even speaking. It was strange, not speaking. But it was even stranger thinking about her dilemma. She never would have seen herself stuck between two boys before!

_That's it, _she thought grimly, tightening her grip on her bag. _I've decided. _

And she continued firmly down the sidewalk, her mind set on her one task. _I'll do it. It makes everything easier. On all of us. I just…I can't stand this tension! And I know I make the house awkward now…_

She sighed heavily, nodding grimly at her decision. _It's decided. I'll…I'll move out of the Sohma home. _

Later that evening, Tohru was packing things noiselessly into a bag Shigure had bought her for vacations. She glanced warmly around her room. Oh, how she would miss this place! But her grandfather needed extra help around the house now, what with his age, and Tohru knew she would not be sorely missed at this house.

A knock on her door. She bolted upright, flinging her suitcase under the quilt of her bed. She rustled over to her door, sweating nervously and glancing back at her bed. _Why am I so scared? _And then she realized…she was planning to leave in secret.

"Hello?" she squeaked, sliding open the door an inch. A burgundy eye was level with hers, and she yelped and stepped back. Kyo's rough hand slid the door open the rest of the way, stepping gently into her room. Tohru laughed with relief. "Oh, Kyo-kun! You scared me."

His glare caused her to fall silent. "Yea, I seem to scare you a lot, don't I?" And he turned around and closed the door behind him.

Tohru immediately felt her palms get sweaty. She remembered the kisses and _oh, this kisses, _but she tried to erase them out of her mind. Kyo still hadn't turned around to face her; he was silently staring at the door. She inched closer to her bed, hoping to stand in front of the rather obvious bulge on her mattress.

Finally, Kyo turned around, his face set in an expression not unlike Tohru's had been earlier. "Look, I—" And then he stopped. Tohru tried desperately to keep her face neutral, but Kyo was taller than her, so her standing in front of the bed did nothing. "What the hell is that?" he snapped, taking a step closer. Tohru stuck her arms out, holding Kyo off.

"Nothing!" she cried hurriedly. "It's my—um—my homework!"

Kyo gently grabbed Tohru's wrists. She almost melted, but her grip on his arms became weak and he pushed her arms down. He bent down so he was almost level with her. She felt his breath on her face and felt a shiver run up her spine. It would be so much easier to just stay here and—_no! _She had promised herself she was going to make their lives easier!

But if Kyo found out…

"A SUITCASE?"

Oops. Too late. Tohru blinked; shocked to see Kyo wasn't standing in front of her anymore. She whirled around to see him gaping at the suitcase underneath her quilt.

"Oh!" Tohru gasped and stared at the suitcase too. Kyo turned to glare at her, his eyes narrowed.

"What's this doing here?"

Tohru was silent, but then laughed nervously. "Hahahaha! Oh, that? Hahahaha! It's—uh—a funny story…heeheehee! Um…" And she began to laugh, trying desperately to act as if the story was funny rather than very depressing. "My family invited me on a trip for tomorrow! I promised I would go, so…" She held her breath. Kyo's brow was furrowed and she knew he didn't believe her.

"Whatever," he finally muttered, throwing the quilt back over it. She sighed with relief. "I came to talk to you, but if you're busy…"

"Yes!" Tohru nearly yelled, squeezing her eyes shut. "I really am busy!" And then she managed to squint an eye open. "But I can talk to you…later." _Much later, when I'm gone from this house. _

"Uh…okay." And he shrugged, stepped past her, and closed the door softly behind him. It was only then Tohru felt relieved, but also sort of empty.

"Augh! What a mess!" she cried, tossing a shirt into her suitcase. And she clutched her hands to her shoulders, trying desperately to think. No, what she was doing was the right thing. Her own happiness didn't matter…it never had.

* * *

It was late. Too late. Kyo should have been in bed, but he was too anxious. He had gone into Tohru's room to straighten things out with her; he had known something was going on with her. He had been going to bring up the topic of the kiss, because come _on, _what was up with that? But she had blown him off like a dust ball. So he had obliged.

But something still didn't feel right.

Kyo had wanted to forget it all. To just ignore her, act nonchalant; revert back to his icy ways. But it had been too _hard. _He had, in fact, been heading to the roof, but her room had been right there and just—augh! Kyo had given in, and he was frustrated at his own weakness.

He sat on the roof, waiting. He didn't know what he was waiting for, exactly. The only light to help him see was the waning moon. Stars were covered with murky clouds, and the tinkling of the stream beside the house constantly sent Kyo into dozes. But he always jerked awake seconds later, not completely understanding what he had to stay up for.

And just when he thought he was going to go in to sleep because what he was doing was damn stupid, he saw her.

She was walking down the main path of the house, her suitcase squeaking behind her. She was making little noises of discontent, and he could see why. She must have packed all of her belongings in that suitcase!

Kyo blinked. And he watched her struggle. He blinked again.

And it clicked. And he knew. And he swore viciously under his breath, scrambling to his feet and dodging down the ladder, flying through the house and sprinting down the stairs.

_That stupid girl! _He thought venomously, and that's exactly what he yelled as he dashed out of the front door, clattered down the steps, and saw her glancing back at him, horrified.

"ARE YOU STUPID?" he roared, running up to her. She looked clearly frightened now, and to his surprise tried to run with the suitcase in tow. He cursed again and leapt, grabbing onto the side of the bag and ripping it out of her grasp. She gasped, clutching her burning hands to her mouth, eyes still wide with dread.

Kyo couldn't see much because the moon was further away now, but he saw enough. "What the _hell _are you doing?" he whispered viciously, tossing her suitcase to the side. She watched, nervous.

"Going…on a trip…"

"That's a lie!" he snapped, taking a step closer. She backed away a step, and Kyo knew he must look crazy. But he didn't care. "What the hell are you running away for?" He tried to calm his voice down. He knew how easily he scared Tohru sometimes.

"I'm—I'm not running away!" she cried stoutly, and this took Kyo by surprise, and then suddenly anger took over.

"What do you call that damn suitcase then? It's heavier than Shigure's stupid house!" he yelled.

"I'm not running away!" Tohru repeated, trying to be fierce. "I'm trying to make things better!"

"BETTER?" Kyo laughed harshly, rubbing his exhausted eyes with a hand. "Tohru, running away doesn't make _anything _better." _I know that._

"But I made things…awkward!" Tohru blurted, her face a deep tomato red. Kyo blinked. She had _noticed? _He didn't think she would ever detect something obvious like that. "I did, and you know it because I can see it! I…" She tugged at a pigtail nervously, but she wouldn't look away from Kyo's eyes. "You and Yuki are acting so weird now, and I want to fix it! I hate being in the middle! I hate how guilty I am, how horrible I feel! I can't stand it! I can't stand what I've done!" And then she burst into sudden tears, collapsing onto the ground.

Kyo blinked. He didn't know what to do. All he _could _do was watch her cry, watch her tears fall from her eyes and onto her lap. He could only watch her as a heavy weight descended on his shoulders, and he knew she could feel it too by the way she sagged. All he could do was watch, because Kyo was feeling just too horrible for words.

Hesitantly, he knelt down on the ground. "Hey, hey. Calm down." Lame, but what else could he do?

"I wrecked—everything!" she managed through a hiccup. "If only we hadn't kissed on the roof!"

Kyo blushed. "Hey, it wasn't that ba—"

"If only I hadn't started dating Yuki!"

Kyo blinked. "Eh?"

"If only I just wasn't here in the first place!" And she sobbed harder.

"Hey. That's enough." Kyo was closer now, kneeling right beside her. He bent down to look in her face, but all she was doing was snuffling quietly. He reached out a hand and subconsciously stroked a lock of her hair out of her eyes. She stiffened, but he didn't care. "Don't think it's all your fault. Yuki and I…we don't know how to do this stuff." Kyo chuckled. "Especially me. I _suck _at this."

No answer, but at least she wasn't crying as hard anymore. And then he felt a pressure on his other hand and looked down between their legs, surprised to see Tohru's pale hand grasping his own tanned one.

"Uh—"

"Please, Kyo-kun," she whispered. Kyo couldn't possibly ignore that heart-breaking tone, so instead he sat there with her throughout the entire night. She finally stopped crying and just sat there, silently beside a soundless Kyo, and they both sat there in the dawning light in quiet with their hands clasped tightly together, as if it were a lifeline.

"Hey…Tohru?" Kyo's whisper broke the silence.

"Mm?"

"It really wasn't fine with me."

And she giggled.


	6. Muddled Memories

**A/N: **Heh, faster than usual? I was camping for four days and really wanted to write this. So when I came home I typed up seven pages in one night, whoot! 

By the way, if anyone gets confused, this is a memory chapter. I didn't want to write that here, but I'm afraid of getting reviews asking what's going on, since it's different than the last chapter. XD

**Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. This very angsty story is mine (awkwardly enough).

* * *

**_Second Thoughts_**

_Chapter Six_

* * *

_Not too long ago…_

_Or was it?_

_Time has passed._

_So much time._

_It seems just like yesterday, but there has been too much pain for that to be true…_

* * *

****

**_Some Time Ago…_**

"Honda-san, what's wrong?" A light touch on Tohru's shoulder caused her to jump, almost sending her schoolwork flying.

"Yuki-kun!" she cried, blushing and bending down to pick up her books. "Nothing, nothing!" She beamed at him. He smiled tentatively back.

"Is your schoolwork difficult?" he asked kindly. Tohru flicked her eyes down to her sock feet. For some reason, in the back of her mind, she felt as if she had betrayed Yuki. But that was impossible! She wasn't even _with _Yuki. They were just two friends, which was it.

And yet, that little niggling voice in the back of her mind told her she should have just kept her lips of off Kyo's last night. And obviously it was right.

"Honda-san? Honda-san!" Yuki's voice brought Tohru down to Earth sharply. She blinked over at Yuki, who, under the lowered lights of the kitchen (Tohru was madly hurrying to finish her homework after work late at night), he looked worried. "You've been staring off into space…"

She giggled. "It's nothing Yuki-kun!" And then they chatted for a bit and she implied she had lots of work to do. Yuki obliged to her not-so-subtle hints and wandered off to his own room. But Tohru stood beside the table, blinking and not knowing what to do. Homework suddenly seemed so unappealing. But she knew she couldn't go where she wanted to.

The roof.

Because _he _would be there.

And she didn't need a repeat of last night.

She shuddered, shuffling her papers absent-mindedly. She shouldn't have cried up there last night. She just…didn't cry. Tohru hated showing weaknesses like that, because then she made people worry with her tears. "I will _not _make him worry again!" she muttered to herself, remembering Kyo's kind words, his gentle touches…

"NO!" she yelled, and her voice echoed through the kitchen. _No…No…No…_

"Uh..."

Tohru jumped. She spun around to see Kyo in the doorway. They stood frozen a room apart from each other.

"Oh! Um—I was just…uh…going." Tohru fumbled for any words, and it was difficult to try and even _possibly _imagine walking past Kyo to get to her room. But she would have to.

Kyo realized the same thing and took a step to the side. "Oh. Right."

Tohru bustled quickly over in his direction, her heart speeding to a rate she didn't know possible. She tripped on her socks numerous times on the way there, and by the time she got near Kyo her face was a brilliant shade of red. Her shoulder bumped into his arm softly, and she stumbled again. Kyo's hand instinctively reached out to grab her to stop her from falling.

They stared at each other. Blinked. Their faces were close, much too close for the normalcy Tohru had been hoping for. His body was too close, his breathing too close, his lips too close. Too close, too close…

And then she burst out giggling. Kyo looked startled, but then he smiled weakly. "Right. Sorry."

"Sorry!" Tohru burst out, trying not to laugh. It was possibly the worst situation to laugh in, but her anxiety had translated itself out as laughter. So Kyo chuckled a little too, and they stood there for a second tittering nervously together.

"Um—but I have to er…sleep." Tohru blushed again.

Kyo's hand was still latched to her wrist. Like lightning it was at his side again. "Sure."

Tohru shuffled past, her hands clasping her papers tightly to her chest. She was so sure her heart had been going to burst out of her body through that entire escapade. How awkward that had been, just standing so close to each other and _laughing? _It had been uncomfortable laughter too. The kind you hate.

When Tohru finally trundled her way into her bedroom, she locked the door and collapsed to the floor in a fit of nervous giggles. It was _not _supposed to go like this. She had probably worried him again by acting like she had lost her mind.

But she just couldn't stop laughing, and it hurt.

* * *

A week had passed. A week of brutal run-ins, awkward silences, bursts of anxious giggles (on Tohru's part; Kyo was getting sick of that whole laughing thing). They were both fidgety and nervous and Kyo hated being in the house. Tohru was suffering with how things had become, but she knew she couldn't run away, although that was definitely preferable.

So she just decided it was safer to never breach the topic of the kiss again. _Ever. _Maybe then things would start to pick up again. She hoped and prayed every night things the next morning would be miraculously better, but each morning Kyo hid in his bedroom until Tohru was out of the kitchen. And when she would come back for some reason she would lock with his eyes as he rummaged through the pantry. And they would stand and blink and stutter out excuses, and then both would flee to different rooms.

It had felt right _then. _Up _there. _Why didn't it feel so perfect anymore?

"You seem confused, Honda-san." The two companions sat in Yuki's secret base, busily weeding around all of his plants. Tohru's hair was pulled back into a ponytail, and she wore on gardening gloves to large for her hands as she struggled to rip out a particularly vicious weed.

"Oh no, Yuki-kun!" Grunt. "Weeding isn't—wheeze—that confusing!" With a rip, Tohru managed to yank the stubborn weed out of the dirt and she felt a small burst of pride for such a measly accomplishment.

Yuki chuckled. "No, not about the weeding." He looked into her eyes that way he always did, so soulfully that they would just connect. Tohru blinked.

"S—Something else, then…?"

"Yes."

She coughed, shrugged, and squeezed her hands together nervously.

"Did something happen with Kyo?" he continued to prod, and the last word turned brittle in his mouth. Tohru stiffened.

"No, no!" She giggled. "Why would you think something like that?"

"…No reason," Yuki said softly, turning back to his plants. Tohru felt a pang somewhere in her heart. She hated lying. That's what that feeling was, right? Nothing else?

"Um—I have to go start supper! Look at the time!"

"But Honda-san…" Yuki checked his watch. "It's not even—"

"Bye!" Tohru called, and she was already halfway down the path that led through the woods and back to Shigure's house. She burst through the back door with a puff of air. Why? _Why _was her heart acting like this around Yuki now? Couldn't she make up her _mind_?

_

* * *

_

It was late. Dark. So dark that Tohru could barely see her hands in front of her face. She tiptoed down the hall, trying with difficulty to stay silent; Shigure's floorboards were so _old _and _creaky._

She stood hesitantly at the door, and then finally flicked it open. It slid open a tad to reveal the enveloping darkness of the night outside of the house. It was even darker than inside, because it was a new moon and there was positively no light, except for the fuzzy twinkling of the busy streets of Tokyo.

Taking a hesitant step outside, Tohru glanced up to see her laundry line, filled with clothes, flapping in the soft breeze. And then there was the ladder beside the line, laying on the side of the wall and disappearing up near the roof.

Tohru glimpsed up, struggling with herself. She was so tempted to just take those tiny steps up the ladder, to glimpse over and see Kyo's red hair. To bounce over to him and be able to talk to him like before…

But then she heard a rustle and froze. He was up there! She spun around to leap back inside the house, but her hammering heart muddled her mind, and she ran full-tilt into the wall beside the door. She had to admit, it wasn't quiet.

But then Kyo's sudden movements on the roof alerted her and she dashed inside, slamming the door behind her and racing to her bedroom, not caring if anyone heard her.

"Hello?" Kyo's eyes peeked over the edge of the roof, and he glanced down at the balcony. His heart sunk a few inches. So now she was running…

Things were just getting worse.

With a heavy sigh, he fell backwards on the roof, ignoring the sudden throbbing of his head as it came in contact with the tiles. They had already been acting distant enough lately…

Something was going to change, and Kyo didn't like it. Because where else did Tohru have to run away from Kyo but to the other boy in the house?

Disgruntled and frustrated, Kyo stared up at the pitch-black sky, trying to imagine the moon shining down on him. But that wasn't working either, so finally he just gave up and closed his eyes, losing himself in a fitful sleep on the roof.

* * *

"Honda-san!"

Tohru, who had been flipping frying vegetables into the air, set the frying pan back down on the oven at Yuki's words. She turned around and found herself facing a large bouquet of wildflowers. She burst into a grin.

"Yuki-kun! They're…they're gorgeous!"

Yuki grinned shyly at her. "That's why I picked them for you."

Tohru's mouth dropped open. "For _me?_"

"Well, the past few months you've seemed so sad, and I decided I should try to cheer you up."

Tohru grinned at him, taking the bundle of flowers delicately in her grasp. "Oh, thank you so much, Yuki-kun!" She breathed in the scent. "They're beautiful."

Yuki smiled softly down at her, fingering a strand of her hair. She froze, face hidden among the flowers. "Just like you," he whispered, and when Tohru finally got the nerve to look up from the flowers he was gone.

She staggered over to the wall, where she slumped down against it, holding the flowers so tightly her knuckles were turning white. True, Yuki-kun and she had been getting a lot closer lately…but she hadn't noticed. All that had been on her mind was _to stay away from Kyo, so spend time with Yuki since they hate each other and maybe Kyo will forget._ That had been her plan.

But obviously it hadn't worked.

She fingered the petals of the flowers gently and smiled softly at them. Maybe it was time to move on from that night that seemed to haunt her dreams every night. Maybe it would help fix things with Kyo. Who knew what would happen unless she took a step forward?

* * *

"'Just like you'," Kyo muttered under his breath, kicking pebbles viciously across Shigure's lawn. "'I'm so cool! Marry me because I'm just so _dull_'," Kyo hissed, shoving his hands in his pockets angrily. "Stupid Yuki. What's he doing, being so damn obvious and annoying like that?"

He knew it was going to happen.

It had happened because Kyo was a _chicken. _Because he was too afraid of Tohru's reaction, too afraid of his own, of everyone else's. Afraid things would be wrecked further if he brought it up.

And he hadn't meant to overhear. Honestly. But he had been walking to his room and he heard Yuki's voice, smelled the flowers, heard Tohru's reaction…and had stormed out of the house, bitter and angry. Everything always worked out for that perfect _Rat._

But Kyo? Oh no. Because Kyo was _cursed_. He always lost the things most important to him, just because of his own fright.

"Hey."

Kyo glanced back, his body whipping around. He saw Yuki standing before him, arms crossed protectively in front of him. He watched Kyo with an icy look, that one that Kyo hated because it made him feel inadequate.

"What?" he snapped, more hateful towards him than ever.

"Did you actually think you were being quiet in there, eavesdropping?"

Kyo bristled. "What the hell are you talking about, you stupid Rat?" Kyo snarled back, clenching his hands in his pockets. They were still very far apart, but Kyo felt like he could jump and pounce that stupid animal to the ground, he was getting that mad.

"I didn't know you were so desperate as to listen to her conversations with other people. Honestly."

Kyo gritted his teeth together, trying to contain his anger. "I'm not," he replied pathetically. Yuki's eyes slit in a kind of amused upper handedness.

"Just because you messed up, you stupid Cat, doesn't mean we _all _wi—"

"SHUT UP!" Kyo roared, feeling his anger just erupt like a heated volcano. He took three large strides toward Yuki and swung his fist out, aiming for his pretty face, swearing he would _break _that damn mask—

Yuki's own hand shot up and grabbed Kyo's arm, twisting it agonizingly until he grunted in annoyance and pain and ripped his arm out of Yuki's grasp. His eyes were still cold, his aura still collected. And Kyo hated him for that, too.

"Stop acting so irrationally," Yuki snapped in a commanding tone.

"I'll act however the hell I WANT!" Kyo bellowed, tensing his body for another blow. But Yuki only stepped to the side, and Kyo's punch sliced harmlessly through the air.

"Trying to defeat me will not cause Honda-san to have feelings for you." The words, cold and blunt and correct, stabbed through Kyo's heart like a knife. He almost fell on his knees in exhaustion and weariness and just—because, but he stopped himself from acting so weak.

"That's not why I'm doing it!" Kyo growled at him. Yuki gazed at him, unblinking.

"You disgust me," he whispered, almost more to himself than Kyo. Kyo blinked. He was so tempted to just yell out 'Yea? Well she KISSED me! I bet that's more than YOU can say!', but already knew that the battle was lost, and such petty things like that wouldn't make a difference. Besides, it was a special moment between him and Tohru and he didn't want Prince Uptight to ruin it.

"I'm not going to make this one of your beloved competitions, Cat," Yuki stated icily. "You lost your chance, and now you should move over like a man. Although I can see that's an impossible feat for you." And then Yuki spun around and walked swiftly back inside the house, leaving Kyo standing in the yard open-mouthed and ready to kill something. And he also left him speechless.

"Just a—now wait—that's—you—ARGH! _DAMMIT_!" And he spun around and kicked his foot into a tree trunk so hard the tree vibrated for a moment before stilling. And now Kyo's toes throbbed, but what did he care? He had just had the strangest conversation with Yuki in his life, where his rival had managed to make Kyo look hideously stupid basically everytime he had opened his mouth.

"Stupid Rat," he muttered darkly under his breath. "Move over like a man? What the hell does he know?" And Kyo continued to grumble for what seemed like hours, all the while trying to sort out what he was going to do now.

But everytime he tried to think, his mind strayed onto the scent of flowers, their voices happily discussing how beautiful the "flowers" were. Augh. It made him sick.

And it also didn't mean anything. Tohru wasn't an _object. _Just because Yuki was in the picture didn't mean Tohru would necessarily fall for him like that. Right? _Right? _

* * *

That was it. She had given up and dashed to the roof. What else could she do? He hadn't been there, and she knew he wouldn't be and that's why she had run there. To the safe spot. The secure spot. A place where she could think and—hopefully—not cry anymore.

Sitting up there again, she glanced down to where she and Kyo had had…_The Moment_. Where she had been sobbing so hard her heart had hurt, but Kyo had saved her…

Saved her. Huh. A funny term. Would he save her this time, too?

"No," Tohru mumbled, clutching her head in her hands, blinking furiously. "There's nothing to save me from! So what if Yuki-kun…if Yuki…" Her sentence drifted off as she remembered the events earlier that day. They were all flashing blurs, really. It was difficult for her mind to process what had happened, to fit the pieces in properly.

She recalled walking out of the school, glimpsing Yuki, walking home with him, discussing things like the Secret Base and the homework…when things had taken a strange turn and he had grabbed her hand and it had suddenly gone clammy. Then there was a long stretch of something she couldn't remember, but it had been so strange and…_otherworldly _to hear words like that come out of Yuki's mouth…being pointed at _her_.

"…Love?" Silence. No one would answer her up here. She glanced up at the moon, round and shiny and lighting up the country. Not like so long ago, when it had been not even a sliver…

"Love?" she asked again, a little louder. She sat up straighter, watching the tops of trees below her sway in the gentle night breeze. "That's…a funny word." She nibbled at her bottom lip fretfully. Before all she had had to worry about was Kyo…but Yuki too? She had never had anyone tell her they love her before! Well, not a boy. Not a potential…you know. She blinked once, hard, and shook her head, trying to clear it out.

What had she replied to Yuki? Something mumbled, some blushing, stuttering. His calm smile, saying she didn't have to say anything now, just that a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he was glad he could tell her…white. That's all she remembered after that. She had probably run home, cooked something messy for supper—

"Oh no!" she gasped, leaping up. "I didn't even cook supper!" She glanced down to her clothes, which were still her school uniform. Had she been hiding on the roof _all day? _

"That's horrible! What did they eat?" She was tempted to dash downstairs, but she knew now it wouldn't affect them at all. So, tensely, she sat back down, feeling lost and confused. What was she going to do? Yuki, so nice and sweet and kind…always looking out for her, trying to make her happy, giving her only the best…No one else had treated her like that before. Was that what she wanted? To be doted on like that?

"I…I don't…"

She felt the tears gathering in the corners of her eyes. She blinked, sniffed, blinked again. What was she feeling _tears _for? She should be happy! Ecstatic! A sweet, generous boy had just proclaimed his love for her! Why was she even being _hesitant_? Besides…she couldn't hurt Yuki by saying no.

She looked down at the roof tiles again, remembering Kyo…Well; he hadn't even talked to her in so many months. "He probably doesn't feel anything," she muttered to herself, nodding agreeably. "Yes. That's it! He's gotten over it as well!" She stood up, pacing over to the ladder, then stopping, pacing back, stopping…

Scared…

Scared…

Scared?

Was she scared? Scared like she had been that evening, her feet dangling off of the roof? She felt her stomach twist and she knew she was. But of what? Not Yuki…no, she wasn't scared of him.

She knew.

She knew and she tried to ignore it. She clattered down the ladder, scurried down the hall, and continued to try and block him out of her mind.

All too soon she found herself standing in front of Yuki's silent bedroom, her breathing speeding up, her hands trembling. A life-changing moment stood before her. Yuki…Kyo…

Slowly, laboriously, she lifted a hand. Tensely, she stood in that position for what seemed like an eternity. What to do? How could she possibly even _choose_? It wasn't even up to her…was it? She hated stress! The pressure weighing down on her shoulders was all too much…she couldn't bear it…

Lightly, her knuckles came in contact with the wood. Nothing answered. She sighed heavily, knocked harder. Finally she heard a mumble, the creaking of footsteps on the floor…

The door opened, and a tired Yuki looked out at her. His eyes snapped wide at her standing in front of him. "…Oh," was all he managed, and even then it was strangled.

Tohru blushed. "Um…hi."

"Hi."

"I—" She stopped, her voice stuttering and failing. She tried again, glancing up at Yuki's eyes. Glinting, trying to hide the hope. She felt humiliated, dirty, strange. Was this what she wanted?

Yes. Yes, it was. Because she had always loved Yuki, right? Always…hidden…

"Thank you," she blurted, and Yuki's calm smile settled her heart down. Just a little.

"It was the truth," he replied softly. And Tohru could only look up at him, and she didn't know what to do as he came closer and closer, and she could feel his breath and she just froze, because it was exciting and strange and upsetting all at the same time.

But it wasn't the same as with Kyo.

* * *

As the bell rang students burst out of the school, crying out to their friends in the brilliant sunlight, or hurrying to pick up dropped books and notes. Some were already nibbling at hidden snacks, and others were staying inside the school, volunteering.

And others…well, others were just at their lockers, grabbing their books before being disrupted.

"Kyo-kun…"

He jumped. It didn't happen very often, but he hadn't heard her gentle voice in such a long time. He spun around, seeing her forlorn expression, her hands gripping at her bag tightly. Stiffening, he nodded at her.

"Yea?"

"Can—I…talk to you for a moment?"

Hesitation. But what else could he say? "Sure," he replied automatically, fearing the worst but also hoping for the best. She took a step closer, glanced down at her shoes, glanced back up at him.

"Kyo-kun…I have to tell you something. Because I hate secrets." Her expression looked almost frightened, and Kyo's hard shell dissolved slightly. It almost seemed like the kiss had never happened, as strange as that sounded. But it had been so long ago…

"I don't like them either," he replied softly. _At least, not between us. _

"I'm…I—That is…me and…um…"

"…You and?" he repeated, feeling his brow furrow. She still wouldn't look at him. Finally, her eyes lifted.

"Yuki-kun and I are…kind of…together." Her lips were set in a firm line, but her eyes told the whole story. And Kyo felt his heart stop and he knew what he heard was true.

* * *

"How?" She heard his voice, and it almost sounded like he had yelled too much beforehand. It came out hoarse, and she blinked. This was harder than it should have been. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out. "How can you…can you do this?" he added in a mumble.

His tone pierced at her heart, but she ignored it because the feeling seemed dishonest to Yuki-kun. "It just sort of…happened," she replied meekly. They stared at each other for a moment, Kyo's expression one Tohru couldn't read. But for one moment, the facade gave way and she saw a sliver of disappointment, of horror, of fear…

She blinked. It couldn't have been. He didn't…did he? No…not…

But he was gone, walking swiftly down the corridor in the way that showed he was mad, trying to hide his anger. He shoved a student out of his way as he turned the corner, and Tohru heaved a sigh, her shoulders sagging.

Something didn't feel right. But nothing ever did lately, did it?

* * *

_Things are…so different now…_

_With his hand clasping mine, my tears pouring down my face…_

_My suitcase inches away, forgotten. _

_Because he has found me…_

_And he saved me once again._


	7. Everything is Upside Down

**A/N: **Ack, ack, a shorter chapter than usual! Oh, the angst. But it's okay, because it's got fluff. Yaaay, fluff! And I wanted to end it at the last scene anyway. Augh, I'm such a slow writer! I'm sorry! (sob) By the way, the first scene isn't meant to be copied from Volume 10. But stars are romantic, nooo? What else can I say? OH. I updated a lot faster than usual! And please, _please _review. It gives me the will to carry on! I feel like bursting into song.

**Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. This very angsty story is mine (awkwardly enough).

* * *

**_Second Thoughts_**

_Chapter Seven_

* * *

"Look, look!" Tohru's slender hand squeezed Kyo's larger one as they gazed up into the pitch-black sky.

"I didn't see it," Kyo replied lazily after a few moments, blinking up at the sky. The two had found their way back onto the roof, and it was the first time in what seemed like _years _that they were on the roof…_together. _Lying side-by-side, their hands clutching the others between them. It was definitely too late to still be awake, but neither cared at the moment.

"I think it was a shooting star!" Tohru's voice interrupted Kyo's somewhat lethargic thoughts. He blinked, flopping his head to the side so he could see the profile of Tohru's face, shining with excitement. It didn't seem like she had been planning to run away only a little earlier. She must have felt his eyes, because she looked over at him and blinked, flushing a light pink.

Kyo smiled gently at her. And, tentatively, she beamed back. He squeezed her hand lightly and turned back up to the sky.

"That's not a shooting star."

"EH? It's not?"

"Nope. It's an airplane."

"Is it?" she sounded doubtful. Kyo snorted.

"Stop being so stupid," he reprimanded so lightly it didn't even sound as mean as it usually did.

"Y…Yes…"

They lapsed into silence, Tohru squinting to try and really see if it was an airplane, and Kyo just closing his eyes and taking in the moment.

"I'm glad I stayed." Her voice was soft, barely above a whisper. Kyo's brow furrowed slightly at her words.

"Me too," he murmured, squinting open an eye to look over at her. She was still watching the sky, but her eyes were obviously somewhere else.

"Thank you, Kyo-kun."

His face grew red at her words. "It was…I didn't…" He really had no clue what to say. What could he? _It was no problem leaping at you and screaming in your face. Nope. Making myself look even more pathetic was fun. The pleasure was all mine. _

Tohru let out a small giggle, and Kyo relaxed again. Strange, yet oddly satisfying, how her laughter just seemed to set him at ease.

"This is the first in a long time we've been here," Tohru chirped up suddenly, breaking the silence. Kyo nodded, feeling her hand that was clasped in his own fidget a bit as she spoke. "I missed it up here."

Kyo grinned. "Well, I like it a helluva lot better with you up here."

Tohru smiled at him, but then her lips puckered into a small frown. Kyo grew curious. "What's up?" he asked, turning his head to face hers. They were still lying beside each other.

"Well…what I told you…before…" Her voice grew quiet. Kyo searched through his memories, trying to figure out what she would be so twitchy about. But nothing came to mind.

"Uh…sorry," he mumbled, not knowing where this was going. She blushed, looking down at the roof tiles.

"Um, when I told you that…I couldn't be in a…relationship?" The last word was whispered so quietly Kyo had to strain to hear it.

"…Oh." He honestly didn't know what else to say. Finally, he gave her hand a reassuring press. "I'll wait." She looked up into his eyes, startled. In fact, Kyo was a bit surprised at his words as well.

"Wait?" Tohru repeated.

Kyo hesitated, and then nodded. "I've learned to become a patient guy lately," he teased. Tohru flushed, this time embarrassed.

"I'm so sorry…"

Kyo shushed her, growing stern. "It doesn't matter." He lifted his hand up to brush away the hair that had fallen in front of her eyes, trying to see just how worried she was. She looked on the verge of tears. He cringed, tucking the hair behind her ear without much thought. She looked up, startled at his movement. But he kept his hand there as he looked into her eyes and tried to think of what to say.

"It'll…you'll be ready when you're ready." He smiled, tugging his hand away gently and clasping her hand that he had been holding previously. "Just remember that I'll always be here."

Tohru's face was as red as a tomato now. Kyo smiled. It was cute, in an annoying, Tohru sort of way.

"Oh…um…okay." She grinned at him. "You're too nice, Kyo-kun."

It was Kyo's turn to blush.

* * *

"Kyo-kun!"

He looked back, halfway out the classroom door. Tohru was behind him, looking anxiously up at his face. "Where are you going?" she asked sweetly, in a concerned voice.

"Just to get some supplies for _her,_" he explained, jerking a thumb at Mayu. Tohru giggled.

"Come back soon!"

"I will," Kyo said, and with a hesitant pause ruffled her hair. She beamed, embarrassed, as he took two steps and turned out of Tohru's sight.

"Weeelll, what do we have here?" Uotani's voice was right behind Tohru. She jumped turning around to face her two best friends, who smirking in a playful sort of way.

"Eh?" Tohru asked, suddenly anxious. "What do I have?"

Hanajima smiled, holding a small bag of chips in one hand. She elegantly placed a chip into her mouth, crunching it down as she thought. "It seems you have…an admirer?"

Tohru felt her face slowly growing red. _Oh no! _She thought, and she laughed, waving her hands in front of her face. "What? No! I was just speaking to Kyo-kun!" she giggled.

"Really?" Uotani poked her face closer, looking grave. "It seemed…hm…how would I put it, Saki?" she asked, turning to glance at their friend. The raven-haired girl was silent for a moment.

"Different," she finally supplied. Uotani nodded in agreement, crossing her arms.

"Ehhh? It really wasn't!" Tohru felt herself getting worked up in spite of herself. "Kyo-kun and I are just friends! _Really!_" _Even though things _are _different between us…_

Uotani and Hanajima were still for a few moments, before the taller girl shrugged, throwing her blonde hair behind her shoulder. "Well, whatever. You're happier now, and that's all that really matters."

Hanajima nodded. "Yes…much more cheerful."

Tohru gaped at them. "I wasn't cheerful before?"

Uotani shook her head and patted Tohru's shoulder, leading her over to their desks. "Nope…you were _too _cheerful."

"I…er…oh." She didn't know what else to say. Had she been acting differently because of Kyo and Yuki?

Well, as Uotani had said, she was happier now. She felt her insides glow with a strange warmth. And not only did Kyo care for her, but he understood how she couldn't just…_date _him. But it was nice, just being with him. That was all that mattered for now.

* * *

_"You're nothing but a coward!"_

_Yuki's face glowered down at Kyo's. He glanced down nervously to see he was standing at the edge of a cliff. He blinked up at Yuki, feeling terror shiver through his veins._

_"What? I'm not a coward!" he roared back, feeling fear bubbling in his body. Yuki sneered down at him, leaning closer._

_"Look where hiding got you," he whispered through clenched teeth. Kyo felt sweat trickling down his forehead, taking a step backwards. The heels of his feet, which he noticed were bare, were balanced on the edge of the cliff. But still, he fought._

_"I'm not hiding! I'm not hiding from anything!" He grimaced, trying to take a step toward Yuki. But he grabbed Kyo's arm, his strength thrice that of Kyo's._

_"Stupid cat," he growled, and his face started to morph, started to change…Kyo could only stare, horrified as Yuki's expression dribbled away and was replaced with…_

_"TOHRU?" he cried, realizing this was utter ridiculous. "Oh thank God. Help me get away from this stupid cliff—"_

_Tohru blinked at him, shaking her head. He felt his entire body go rigid. "Wha…?"_

_"Look where hiding got you," she repeated, her usually perky voice flat as she stared up into his eyes. "Stupid cat."_

_Kyo felt like hundreds of knives had just pierced his heart. "Tohru!" he shouted, but she just pushed gently at his arm, and before he could do anything felt his body teeter on the edge of the cliff. He tried one last time to grab for Tohru, but she only teased with the words,_

_"Always running away."_

_And Kyo felt himself plummeting down from the cliff, his body in air, wind ripping at his flesh and hair and eyes. He looked back up, trying to see Tohru, trying to make her understand._

_"I'M NOT HIDING!" he screamed, but no one could hear his voice._

* * *

Kyo sat up in bed, panting. He could feel his eyes were wide with terror, his body covered in a cold sweat. He shakily pressed a hand to his forehead, groaning. "What the _hell_?" he whispered through gritted teeth, feeling a pounding headache beginning behind his temples. That damn nightmare! It had been haunting him the entire time Tohru and Yuki had been dating. It was a messed up vision, but it had plagued him every night. But recently it had begun to go away.

Except for _now._

"Damn!" Kyo hissed again, pounding a fist into the futon pathetically; his body was still trembling. "Why does that scare me so much?" he murmured, trying with difficulty to calm down. He didn't even bother trying to understand what the dream had meant. He glanced at his clock. He had woken up an hour earlier than usual, but there was no way he could go back to sleep now. Tossing the sheets away, he muttered viciously under his breath. He stood up and grabbed a towel for the shower.

_What a bad way to start the day, _he thought moodily.

* * *

"This isn't really…" Kyo let his sentence drift, because he was wrestling with a clothespin, trying to clip it onto the laundry drying line. Tohru glanced over and giggled.

"Well, Kyo-kun, that's the wrong side of the pin!"

"Wha--?" Kyo looked back at the pin and grumbled. "This is stupid anyway," he muttered, but Tohru only laughed.

The two were out on the deck, and Tohru had somehow tricked Kyo into helping with the laundry. To tell the truth, he was horrible at it. And the wind he was constantly wrestling with didn't help either. His hair kept getting in his eyes and it persistently felt like he was going to go off balance.

"This wind is good!"

"What the hell?" Kyo snapped, listening to Tohru's advice and switching the pin around. His wet t-shirt flew up from underneath him and slapped him in the face. He let out a noise of disgust. "This wind sucks!"

"But it means the clothes will dry faster!"

Kyo rolled his eyes. Always thinking about the laundry. He finally managed to clip one sleeve of his shirt onto the line. "Aha!" he cried, without thinking. "I did it!" He let go of the shirt, but it slid out of the pin and landed on the balcony floor, flapping in the breeze."I…" Kyo looked down at it and at the pin that had sprung off and rolled a few feet away from the shirt. "What…?"

Tohru giggled again. She seemed to be in a good mood as she picked up the shirt and the pin. "You have to do both sides to balance it." She looked up at him almost warily. "You didn't know that?"

"Yes I did!" Kyo snapped, ripping the shirt and pin out of her hands. "Dammit, I'm not…little, or…whatever." Tohru was looking up at him, a small smile creeping onto her face. And it was making Kyo lose his train of angry thought very quickly. "I know…uh…stuff." He blushed, but he didn't even know what he was blushing about.

Tohru smiled, pulling at his hands lightly with hers. "It's like this," she instructed, taking one of his hands in hers and clipping one side of the shirt to the line. Then she moved his other hand with her own and clipped the other side. They stood back, and the shirt hung on the line, swinging in the wind. "Tada!" Tohru cried.

Kyo would have smiled if his mind hadn't drifted elsewhere. Her hands had been holding his…so gently…it was sweet. Cute. It had been such a little act, but for some reason Kyo couldn't stop thinking about it.

"…Kyo-kun? Is something wrong?" Tohru looked up at him with a concerned face. "Did you want me to hang up a different shirt of yours for tomorrow?"

Kyo blinked down at her, and then snorted. "Are you serious?" He chuckled again, feeling a smile break out onto his face. Tohru smiled up at him and didn't reply with anything. He ruffled her hair, looking at the shirt they had hung. It was such a tiny accomplishment, but it felt as if he and Tohru were just a little bit closer again…on that track to getting to the place he wanted to be at so badly. But he had told her he would wait. The urge to kiss her or to—just get _close _to her (an impossible feat) was so urgent, but he held it in. For her.

It was always, _always, _for her.

"Shall we try another one?" she asked lightly, hopping over to the laundry basket and grabbing a wet towel. Kyo nodded slowly, coming back down to Earth.

"…Sure," he replied, taking it from her hands. "But this time I'm going to do it by myself."

"Yay! Go Kyo-kun!" Tohru cried, clapping her hands together. Kyo blushed.

"Would you stop acting so stupid?" he asked, embarrassed.

"Ah…yes…" But she was still cheerfully beaming up at him. Sometimes she was so cute it made him sick. But he loved it so much too. What was wrong with him?

* * *

"…Honda-san?"

Tohru looked up from the table where she had been writing down the grocery list. Yuki stood in the doorway, his frame leaning anxiously against the side of the door. She jumped up, flustered with surprise.

"Y—Yuki-kun! What a…shock…" She couldn't look up at him. _But I have to try! _Her inner voice yelled. _I have to be friends with Yuki-kun again!_

"H—HOW WAS YOUR DAY?" she yelled, squeezing her eyes shut and clutching the hem of her skirt nervously. Her ear-splitting words rung through the house, and Yuki's silent reply wasn't a good indication for Tohru. She squeezed an eye open, and Yuki's eyes were wide with astonishment.

"Um…good."

Silence.

"OH." Tohru grimaced. Why couldn't she stop yelling?

"I was just here to say…" Yuki looked down at the floor apprehensively. "I just wanted to add something onto the grocery list."

Tohru deflated slightly. Wait! This was good! "Oh, yes, of course!" she cried, sitting back down at the table. "What would you--?" Her sentence stopped abruptly, because her eyes were focussed on something behind Yuki. It was just a shadow; just a flicker…but she could see it clearly.

Kyo, standing behind Yuki, with a look of something like…an expression Tohru couldn't decipher on his face. "…Ah!" she yelped, standing up abruptly. "Kyo-ku—"  
Yuki whirled around, and Kyo just glared at him, his expression mustering up all the anger he could possibly express. Tohru winced; Yuki didn't budge.

"What the hell are you doing," Kyo growled. Not even as a question. Just a…something Tohru didn't really understand.

"Nothing," Yuki replied. Kyo continued to watch him through viciously narrowed eyes.

"Ah, Kyo-kun! Yuki-kun was just asking me about the grocery—"

Kyo glowered over at her, his eyes not changing. Tohru stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide with surprise. Wh…What had _she _done?

"You _are _a stupid cat," Yuki hissed, and then he took a step closer to Kyo. He whispered something, something Tohru couldn't hear. But the look of revulsion on Kyo's face was clear as he took an angry step back from Yuki.

"Who the hell do you think you are?" he roared, clenching his fists. "It's none of your business, you damn rat!" He spat out the last word, and Yuki only paused in what seemed like a step to turn around to Tohru and say, "can you please buy _natto_?"

Tohru blinked. "Ah…um…yes."

And then Yuki walked away, leaving Tohru and Kyo in silence. She looked nervously at him. "It really was…all he was doing…" But she stopped talking, because Kyo didn't look angry anymore. He looked…defeated? Something on his face put Tohru at unease. "Ky…Kyo-kun?"

He sighed heavily, finally looking up at her. "Sorry," he mumbled. She blinked. "It's got nothing to do with you." His famous words. And then he whirled around and stomped off to who-knew-where. Tohru stood in the room, too anxious to sit down. Oh no! What had transpired between Yuki and Kyo? She was still too uncomfortable with Yuki to ask him, and she was definitely too afraid to ask Kyo. What had Yuki whispered? Why had Kyo been so angry?

_Well that's obvious, _chided a voice inside of her. _It's because he was jealous, wasn't he? _

"I…I…" Tohru fell silent. Had he been? Why had he glared at _her? _"Well, he apologized!" she told herself sternly, grabbing the list off of the table. "If Kyo-kun doesn't want me to talk to him, I'll leave him alone. For a bit. Because…if I go…" She looked down at the list with her messy scribbling on it. "If I go…" _I might hurt him._

Tohru crumpled the paper in her fist, nodded resolutely, and went out to buy groceries.


	8. Shattered?

**A/N: **Ahh! I am the _worst! _I took soooo long! I'm sooo sorry, but my ideas were just flopping around and it was an intense writer's block! You all understand, right? Please don't leave me. I love it when people read my stories. Sniff. On the bright side, it's done! Haha. Hmm…now where to go from here?

**PS:** The line button isn't working. GRAWR. So please excuse the not-long-enough lines seperating stuff. Yea. Sorry. I'm anal. Sigh.

**Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. This very angsty story is mine (awkwardly enough).

-------------------------

**_Second Thoughts_**

_Chapter Eight_

-------------------------

Kyo was up on the roof, biting his thumbnail anxiously as he thought. It was no big deal. Of course Tohru was allowed to talk to Yuki. They lived in the same house. Obviously she would want to save the ties between Yuki and herself. He couldn't keep them apart. After all, he and Tohru weren't even _together._

"Dammit!" he yelled, slamming a fist onto the roof angrily. Not at Tohru, not at Yuki, but at himself. His jealousy that always got in the way. His temper that always made Tohru scared. He hated seeing her scared. He hated _making _her scared. Hate, hate, hate.

-------------------------

_I don't understand you._

Squeak, squeak, squeak.

_Just when I think you're not angry with me, you are!_

"Oh, excuse me."

_Can't we just…_

"There!" The last thing on the list!" Tohru happily scratched onions off of the grocery list and headed to the checkout till with her cart stocked with cooking supplies. The entire trip she had been trying to imagine a serious conversation with Kyo that would end up in confrontation and realization. He would finally understand and not snap at her. Or whatever it was he had done back home only a few hours earlier.

Tohru squeezed her eyes shut, shaking her head lightly as she wheeled into line and waited, digging out Shigure's money from her bag. He had apologized. It wasn't her fault, right? Was he angry with her for speaking to Yuki?

….

Maybe she shouldn't have, then…

"No!" she whispered fiercely, gripping her hands around the cart. "I can and will talk to him! Kyo-kun can't control that…" She lapsed into thoughtful silence, praying they could still stay close. After all, life wasn't the same without Kyo-kun. She had experienced it, hated it, and hoped to never feel it again.

-------------------------

"I'm home!" she cried, stepping into the house with four plastic bags in her grip. She glanced around the entrance to see that no one was around. Humming softly, she walked into the kitchen.

"Aren't those heavy?"

A voice. Tohru jumped, twisting her head to see Kyo standing at the side of the kitchen. Her heart wiggled in her chest, but she smiled shyly. "Oh, um, not really…"

Without a word Kyo grabbed the two bags from her left hand. Suddenly her hand bounced in the air, free of the weight. She grinned, glancing up at Kyo, who was now resting the bags on the kitchen counter. He still hadn't looked at her yet, but instead kept his gaze on the ground. At least he wasn't avoiding her!

"Thank you, Kyo-kun!" she cried cheerfully, resting her own two bags beside Kyo's on the counter. He was right beside her. She could hear his breathing; feel the material of his shirt as he fidgeted in his position. Tohru stood blankly, not knowing what to do. Finally, she grabbed a carton of milk out of the bag and turned around to place it in the refrigerator.

Kyo's hand lashed out, gripping her arm firmly, but not too lightly. She halted in mid-step, feeling her heart pounding in her chest at the sight of his hand. "Erm…"

"Wait. Please." The tone of his voice almost broke Tohru's heart. It sounded confused and pleading and just…so unlike Kyo that she wanted to fix him. She wanted him to go back to his snappish ways, because that was the Kyo she knew.

Silently, she spun back around to face Kyo's back. His hand had let go of her and he looked like he was concentrating.

"Y—Yes?" she managed to squeak, the milk carton clutched so tightly in her grasp she had to remember to loosen her grip or the carton might explode milk.

"I'm…" He fell silent and then turned to face her, his expression anxious. "Don't think I was mad at you back there! When you were talking to Yuki. Because I wasn't, I really wasn't!" Tohru looked up at him, her eyes wide in surprise. Kyo sounded…different. What was he trying to do? It sounded like pleading, like he thought…

"Okay, Kyo-kun—"

"I'm not done," he interrupted, and she shut her mouth immediately. "Look, I just wanted to say…sorry. For scaring…you." He breathed a deep sigh, and Tohru blinked in shock.

"Kyo—kun…I…" She had lost her train of thought. What had she been going to tell him? "You won't…" Tohru suddenly looked into his eyes, smiling. "You don't have to worry about losing me ever again! So please, don't look so scared."

Kyo's eyes widened, but then narrowed in annoyance. "Me? Scared?" He snorted. "Whatever. I just wanted to say sorry."

Tohru nodded, grinning. "Thank you!"

He looked down at her as if she was crazy, but ruffled her hair anyway. She twitched, but felt warm inside. Suddenly she felt the milk carton being taken out of her hands. "Thanks," he said, and popped it open, taking a large gulp. Tohru smiled and gathered other groceries to put away.

-------------------------

"Is what we hear true?" The scornful voice in the hall startled Tohru out of her peaceful reverie. She turned around to see—

"Ah! Kinoshita-san! What a surprise!" Tohru glanced curiously at her. She was followed by around five or six other girls, all glaring at her in the same way Kinoshita was; eyes narrowed, hands on hips, and mouths ready to snap at her. "Can I…help you?" Tohru asked. She was a little frightened by the expressions on their faces. So identical!

"You can start by telling us if the rumors are true!" she snarled, taking a step closer. Tohru blinked.

"Rumors?"

"About you and Yuki-kun!"

"Yea! Yuki-san!"

"Yuki-senpai!"

"Um…oh…" Tohru frowned. What did they mean? They had cornered her a long time ago, as well. But that had been about dating Yuki. Did that mean…

"About you breaking Yuki-kun's fragile heart!" Kinoshita growled, eyes narrowing even more. "He needed loving care, and you didn't give him what he needed! You're a witch!"

"Yea, a witch!"

"A beast!"

Tohru felt herself growing nervous. "Oh no, please Kinoshita-san, it wasn't like that…at…all…" Her sentence drifted into nothing as she thought of Kinoshita's words. Was she a…witch?

"Oh really?" Kinoshita shoved her face right in front of Tohru's, forcing her to look up at her furious face. "Then what was it like?"

The anger emanating off of this group was—truthfully—terrifying. They had been more disappointed when she had started to date him, but now that Yuki's heart had supposedly been crushed…

"It was…" Tohru gulped, trying to gather the right words. "It was…" Pressure was pushing down on her. She didn't know what to say!

"Hey." A voice came from the side, startling Tohru and the Prince Yuki Fan Club members. Tohru turned her head to see Kyo standing at the corner of the hall, his eyes narrowed with suspicion. His hands were, as usual, dug into his pockets, and his uniform tie had mysteriously disappeared. He took a few steps closer, and Tohru noticed Kinoshita-san shrank, just a little.

"Anything wrong?" he asked, looking at Tohru when he said the words and darting a glance at Kinoshita, who was glaring up at Kyo.

"Um, no! I was just speaking to Kinoshita-sa—"

"Kyo Sohma?" Kinoshita suddenly snapped up at him. He blinked, his eyes widening slightly. His body didn't even twitch as the Prince Yuki Fan Club rounded their accusing faces at him. Tohru shook her head slightly at him from behind, but he ignored her. She gulped. If he found out this was about she and Yuki…

"Yea?" he snarled back in a reply. "So what?"

Kinoshita's eyes widened instead of narrowing any further, which probably would have been impossible anyway. "Cousin of Yuki Sohma, correct?"

Kyo didn't answer. Only blinked.

"Er—yes—well, anyway. Do you know why she has done such an _atrocious _thing?" Kinoshita blared right into Kyo's face. He squinted, turning his face away from her screech.

"Dammit, don't be so loud!" he snapped.

"I'll talk however I want, after the witch has done such a horrible thing!" she cried, her voice growing shrill. Tohru felt her face growing red. This was horrible! The entire club would be going crazy now!

"Witch?" Kyo really had no idea what she was talking about. "What witch?"

"_Tohru Honda,_" Kinoshita hissed. "That's who! Don't you know what she did? She broke Yuki-kun's heart! Shattered it! Can you believe that?"

Tohru's eyes widened and she took a step to the side, tugging on Kinoshita's sleeve. "No, really! That's not—um—what…" Tohru gave a sidelong glance at Kyo, who was still staring blankly at Kinoshita, his hands still in his pockets, still standing in his familiar stance. But something was different in his eyes. Tohru gulped. But he had heard, hadn't he? He already knew she had…sort of…broken up with him.

"EXCUSE ME?" she boomed, turning around to Tohru. "Did I hear you correctly? My sources never lie! You broke Yuki-kun's heart, and now he will never be the same sweet, loving, prince we all know and love!"

"Yea!"

"That's right!"

"No…please…"

"Tohru…" Kyo's voice, low and sudden, stopped Kinoshita from screaming at Tohru more in one second. She glanced back at him almost nervously. His expression wasn't any different than it had been earlier, but his voice definitely was. "…Isn't…a witch." His face was blank. There was a long, tense silence, where Kyo's eyebrows snapped down, his eyes narrowing to slits. "Are you _that _pathetic?" he snarled at Kinoshita. "Are you _that _stupid? Jealous? Get a grip, you psychos." And then he grabbed Tohru's wrist and began to drag her down the hall in the opposite direction.

"Ah! Kyo-kun!" she cried, and then she turned back to face Kinoshita. "It's really not like that!" she cried, hoping she would hear her. "It isn't!"

"Shut up," growled Kyo, and Tohru fell silent. She was a little scared, that was true, but he had…stood up for her. She felt her cheeks going warm as they swerved around another corner. He had saved her from being attacked by the Fan Club.

She didn't need a Prince Charming like Yuki. Not when she had her own prince right beside her, protecting her.

-------------------------

"Thank you, Kyo-kun!" she burst as they rounded the last corner to what Kyo thought was appropriate. "That was scary!" she panted from behind him, giggling. He still didn't turn around and face her. He couldn't erase that stupid girl's words out of his mind.

_"She broke Yuki-kun's heart! _Shattered _it!"_

_"Shattered…"_

"Kyo-kun?"

_"Shattered…"_

"…Kyo-kun?"

"…Shattered?" he finally managed, turning around to face her. She was looking up into his eyes, worried.

"Eh?" she asked.

"You…_shattered _his heart?" he asked, managing to keep his face calm. Why couldn't she just…be his girlfriend? It would be so much easier, but her being indecisive like this was freaking him out! Why wasn't _he _being indecisive? Why did he want her to choose him so _badly?_

"Wha--? Oh no! Oh no, Kyo-kun! That's just…that's not…"

Kyo looked down at her fretting face, so red and embarrassed and anxious, trying to make him see, trying to make him calm down. The mere thought of her actions set him at ease, and he instantly felt like a jerk. "Ah, Tohru, I'm sorry," he interrupted, resting his hand on her head to stop her from speaking. "I've been such a jerk lately and it's just…I don't know…it just feels weird." He laughed almost bitterly.

"Well, it is different…but I don't think it's weird," Tohru mumbled quietly, fiddling with her hands anxiously. "I mean, you saved me from those girls, didn't you?" She looked up at him so fast he started back.

"Uh—well—they were just…they looked like…you were cornered!" he finally managed to splutter, feeling his face growing red. "What was I supposed to do?"

Tohru smiled, and the bustle of the hall started to slowly die down. Break was over. Students tromped back into their classes, and chatter ceased in the air around them, making their conversation louder than they had anticipated. Only a few stray students suddenly remained, sprinting past at top speed to try and make it into class on time. Tohru glanced at her watch.

"Ah! I'm going to be late!" She looked up at Kyo, smiling. "Would you like to…walk home together?" she asked cheerfully. Kyo nodded.

"Sure."

"Okay! Bye, Kyo-kun!" And she walked quickly past him, blushing. Kyo waited until he knew she had turned the corner, and then sighed heavily. For some reason, walking home together had a very different and new meaning. He sighed again and turned down the hall, following the direction Tohru had walked a few seconds earlier to get to his own class.

"Hm…write this down, Mio-san!" Kinoshita was grinning to herself, her head peeking around the corner of the hall. At the other end, Kyo's red head disappeared from view. "We may have some interesting information about the witch…"

"Yes Minami-san!" the younger girl yipped, scribbling down the scene they had just witnessed. "But—um—how does this help us with Yuki-senpai?"

Kinoshita just smiled. "Oh, it does."

-------------------------

"Hey, Tohru, guess what I did today."

Tohru was just stepping out of her bedroom late at night, all wrapped up in her pyjamas. She glanced up to see Kyo walked down the hall from the balcony.

"Ah! What?" she asked cheerfully, taking quick steps toward him.

"I did the laundry."

Tohru gasped. "_Really, _Kyo-kun? All of it?"

Kyo shrugged. "Well—you know—a bit," he mumbled.

"That's amazing, Kyo-kun! I'm so proud of you."

Kyo ruffled her hair lightly. "Yea, I thought you'd be," he murmured, smirking. Tohru blushed under his teasing gaze.

"Yes—well—um—where are you going now?" she asked, turning around to face him so they weren't standing side-by-side any longer.

Kyo shrugged. "I dunno. Going to find something to eat? How come?"

"Oh…um…no reason." Tohru smiled. Why did it feel like she wanted to say something else? She didn't have anything else to talk about.

Kyo watched her carefully. "…Good night, then."

"Ah! Yes. Good night!" And he bumped her lightly on the head with his fist, and then he continued to walk down the hall, hands stuffed in his pocket.

Tohru stood outside of her door, holding her hands together nervously. What had that feeling been? She had felt sort of…empty.

_Did I want to kiss him? _She asked herself anxiously. _Is that what that feeling was?_

She walked into her room, closing the door softly. Tohru had a fitful sleep that night.

-------------------------

Tohru entered homeroom the next day warily, clutching her bag to her chest almost protectively. As soon as she walked in, what she had feared happened; the class fell completely silent once they noticed her. Her face blushed a deep shade of red and she scuttled over to her desk, afraid of the all glances sent her way.

It had been happening all day. From the moment she stepped into the school, girls and boys had glared at her. Whispered about her once they thought she couldn't hear. Some whistled; some patted her on the back. But mostly, people would just stop what they were doing to watch her, almost curiously. Some people even looked…_jealous. _But no. That wouldn't make sense. What had she done, anyway?

"So." Uo was sitting in the desk in front of Tohru, turning around in her seat to look at her. Tohru blinked. She looked annoyed. "How come you didn't tell us?"

Tohru gaped, trying to talk. But her mouth would only open and close silently, like a fish. She glanced over at Hana, who was busy braiding her hair. She didn't look up. It made Tohru feel very lonely.

"I don't know what you're talking about!" she whispered, afraid others would overhear. "People have been acting that way all day, avoiding me!" She nibbled her lip nervously. "I don't know what I did, Uo-chan."

Her friend looked at her sadly, almost pityingly. "Well, you could have told _us. _Your best friends." And then she turned around again. Tohru gasped. _Oh no! _She thought. _What have I done to get treated like this? Aah, my head hurts from too much thinking!_

Just then, the door opened a second time. Kyo was—as always—fashionably late. As soon as he stepped in, the class fell silent as well. He blinked, but looked as if it didn't surprise him. His brow was furrowed with annoyance, and Tohru had a strange pinching feeling down in her stomach. What if…?

The class didn't start chatting again until Kyo took a seat behind Tohru. Everyone was whispering frantically, glaring at the two like they were diseases. Tohru felt tears welling up behind her eyes. What a horrible feeling this was!

"Tohru?" Kyo whispered, acting like he was writing something in his book. Tohru didn't turn around, but instead leaned over to grab something from her bag.

"Yes?" she whispered back, fiddling forever trying to "find" a pencil.

"Has this been happening to you all day, too?"

"Yes!" Tohru cried, suddenly forgetting about their little act of not-really-speaking-to-each-other. The class all looked at her, blinking. Tohru blushed. "Um…yes…I got a good mark on my test!" she cried, waving a piece of paper in the air. Silence. And then, the gradual chatter started up once more.

This time Tohru didn't care. She turned around in her chair to look at Kyo. He was watching her with an amused expression on his face, chin held in his hand. But once she looked at him, his smile vanished. "It's been happening to you, too?" she asked, nervously.

"Yea…" Kyo sighed heavily. "Not that I care. I'm used to it." His words put a slight damper on the conversation, but Tohru supposed it was true. Well, she had gotten teased when she was little…but this was different. It was like people were more—_confused _by her than anything.

"Well, it's strange though, isn't it? Even…" Tohru sighed. "Even Uo-chan and Hana-chan won't speak to me! They keep saying I should have told them about…something. But I don't know what." Tohru clasped her hands together anxiously. "Do you know what it could be about?"  
Kyo shook his head. "Sorry," he told her, and he really did sound like it. Tohru smiled.

"It's all right. I'm sure we'll find out soon, right?"

Just then, a huddle of girls not too far from Kyo and Tohru broke out into what seemed like sobs. Tohru looked over at them, curious. "Did something happen?" she asked Kyo, but they must have overheard her. One girl whipped around in her chair, not crying, but angry.

"YOU happened!" she snapped, pointing a finger at Tohru. Tohru blinked, shocked.

"M…Me?" she repeated, pointing to herself.

"Yes! You stole him from us!" And then she gave Kyo a long look, full of anger. Kyo frowned.

"What the hell are you—"

But they all turned around, stepped out of their seats, and shuffled further away from them to the other side of the class. People were definitely watching them now.

"I don't…understand," Tohru said in a small voice. "_My _fault?" She had no clue what she'd done.

"You didn't do anything," Kyo whispered reassuringly, although she could hear the taut anger in his words. "Those girls are crazy."

Tohru giggled. "But I just…they must have heard what everyone else heard." She sighed. "But what did they hear?"

Kyo was watching those girls again, the accusing eyes in the rest of the classroom. These guys… "Something," he muttered to himself, thinking quickly. "They heard _something._"

-------------------------

"So, how is it going?"

Three girls sat in a classroom, the curtains pulled tightly over the windows. Only one set of hands could be seen in the dim light, and they were clutching each other excitedly.

"Very well. Everyone hates the witch."

"A rare few…find it amusing, though," said a voice, and annoyance was clearly evident in its tone.

"All well. It's better than nothing. The majority hate her, because other than us, the geniuses of the Prince Yuki Fan Club, girls find that…_Kyo Sohma _isworth staring at."

A giggle could be heard. "I've heard even her best friends have turned on her!"

"Reeeally?" The voice sounded happy. "Excellent. This couldn't get any better!"

"Except—" The voice stopped. Silence.

"Except _what, _Mio-san?"

The voice was small. "She still has Kyo-senpai, doesn't she?"

Silence.

"All well."

"She's no longer liked by the student body."

"It's fine."

"Yea."

"Yuki will definitely have heard this by now."

"And then he'll come to us, our loving arms wide open!"

And they all laughed, with a twisted sort of glee. All except Mio-san, who seemed to be intently thinking about something in the darkness.


	9. On the Prowl

**A/N: **Okay, okay, I shouldn't exist. Because my story basically DIDN'T EXIST FOREVER. Argh, how could I be so stupid? I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but I started a new of school at a NEW school and have just been busy with work and blah blah blah. My excuses are lame and I just regret not finishing this sooner, because things are just starting to get interesting. (grin) So yea. This chapter kinda came out extra long, haha.

**Disclaimer: **Fruits Basket belongs to Natsuki Takaya. This very angsty story is mine (awkwardly enough).

* * *

_**Second Thoughts ** _

Chapter Nine

* * *

It had been bothering him. For three whole days, people had been whispering and pointing and being not so secretive about whatever it was they thought about him.

Or Tohru.

Or both.

That was what had gotten him thinking. Weren't those freaky Yuki lovers obsessed with ruining Tohru's life? What if they had done something? Of course, Kyo wouldn't talk to those freaks if his life depended on it. And it wasn't himself he was so worried for. After all, he had been scorned his whole life. Dark whispers around him were nothing new.

No, it was Tohru. Whenever he saw her, she looked so heartbroken, so _worried_. Clearly she had never undergone something like this. People obviously generally liked her, or else she wouldn't be taking this so seriously. He wanted to know what people were saying. No, _needed _to know. To help her. To make her feel better. To fix whatever problem was surrounding them.

That was when she came up behind him one day.

"Excuse me…"

He didn't hear. Kept on walking.

"Excuse me."

He heard it, but ignored it. If someone wanted to talk to him, they could talk to his face.

"EXCUSE ME!" the voice shrieked. He stopped. Students were staring. _Oh great, _he thought. _More stuff they can whisper about._

He whipped around, glaring at the girl. "What do you wa—" he began to hiss, but stopped. It was one of those girls. One of those freaky Yuki lovers. "Wha…?"

"Call me Mio-san," the girl whispered, bowing. "I have something I need to tell you." Her eyes darted around nervously. "Please come with me."

"What the hell are you talking about?" he snapped. The girl, short and light looking, with black hair and determined eyes, definitely wasn't going to let him off easy. He could see that, but he didn't want to talk to any rumor-starting freaks.

"It's important. But we have to hurry. If they see me…" Silence.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Kyo snarled. "If you want to talk to me, just talk to me here."

She glared up at him. "Please follow me, Kyo-senpai. I promise that it will help. This is the last time I'm asking. If not, I'll leave."

Kyo frowned. Geez, this girl was uptight. Well, he shouldn't talk.

"Fine," he snapped, and followed her down a narrow hallway he had sworn never existed before.

* * *

"Honda-san?"

Tohru jumped. She had been walking down the hall, oblivious as usual. Lately she had been prone to just stop her ears to ignore all the whisperings around her. It was better than actually trying to deal with it. But Yuki's now unfamiliar voice was enough to startle her back to reality. She turned to her right to see Yuki standing across from her, arms crossed almost protectively.

"Y—Yes?" Tohru asked, taking a small step closer to him. Yuki averted his eyes to the ground, his face grim. Tohru gulped. "Yuki-kun…?" Another step closer, but not too close. He definitely looked uncomfortable. Well, of course. Tohru herself was feeling awkward. She flattened her skirt habitually while she waited.

"Is it…um…" He finally looked up at her with wide eyes. "Is it true?"

Tohru blinked. _…Huh?_ "So…you've been hearing things too?" She blushed. _What are they saying about me?_

Yuki blinked. "Hearing things? Well, yes, I suppose so." He shrugged, although Tohru could see he was tense.

"What is it, then?" Tohru asked quietly, staring at her shoes.

"Excuse me?" Yuki asked, taking a step closer. She spoke so quietly.

"What…are they saying about me?" Her voice shook; she steadied it with a breath.

Shocked silence. "That…That…" He fell quiet. Made a noise of some sort. Started up again. "That you and Kyo…are an item?" He said it like a question. Asking for her opinion. For the final truth. Tohru glanced up at him, eyes large and face red.

"E…E…EHHHH!" she cried out, shocked. That's what had been spreading around the school! Oh no! Tohru could feel herself heating up. She pressed her hands to her face. _Calm down, calm down. How could they assume anything? _

"I—I don't…Oh my goodness!" She let out a nervous giggle, not really knowing what to say. Yuki wasn't the type to listen to petty rumors, so of course he would talk to her about the truth. She gasped. _Uo-chan and Hana-chan…! _

"I'll talk to you later, Yuki-kun!" she cried, bowing and then spinning around.

"Wai—what?" Yuki asked, nonplussed. Tohru turned around again.

"I just remembered something I had to do! I promise I'll talk to you later!" And she walked swiftly down the hall, headed for homeroom. _No wonder they acted so angrily! Especially with Uo-chan's temper…_

She walked faster.

* * *

_…Damn. _

That was the only thought running through Kyo's head as he walked aimlessly down the hall during break. Now he realized why everyone was staring. Of course they would be curious. Hadn't she just been with Yuki only a week ago or something like that? Kyo's mind was too fuzzy to think properly.

How was he going to tell Tohru?

He had _wanted _to be with her. But maybe…maybe it was better if they weren't together after all. Because she would hate this, wouldn't she? He shook his head, trying to think straight. He wouldn't bring it up again, then. Things would go back to normal…maybe if he acted like they weren't together.

_But I don't _want _to be like that again! So far away…so cold…_

"Excuse me!" squeaked a voice. Kyo felt himself being brushed abruptly out of the way. He took a step back, glancing down to see…

"Tohru?" he called, surprised. But she was already halfway down the hall and must not have seen him…or heard him…

"Suspicious," he muttered, glaring at the students who were watching him. "What?" he snapped viciously. "If you've got something to say, then just say it!" But silence settled instead. Kyo rolled his eyes and stomped off down the hall after Tohru.

Why had she ignored him?

* * *

Tohru knew where her friends would be. She peeked through the glass doors that led to a small courtyard outside where they spent most of their lunch hours. She blinked. Yes, there they were. Sitting on the grass quietly. She took a deep, steadying breath and opened the door, walking quickly and trying not to be afraid. They were her _best friends! _She just had to clear up the air, and everything would be fine.

She didn't notice someone else follow her outside only seconds later, dashing into the shrubs near the doors that led toward the front yard of the school.

"Hana-chan? Uo-chan?" she called tentatively. Hana looked up, blinking slowly. Uo didn't. Tohru couldn't stand it. "It's not true!" she burst out, taking two steps closer to them. They were sitting on the grass, and Tohru knelt down on her knees to be closer to them. She squeezed her schoolbooks against her chest as she tried to think of what to say. "I don't know who made it up, and I don't know why, but you've _got _to believe that if anything had happened, I would have told you!" she cried desperately. "I would never keep something so big a secret from my two best friends!" She fell silent.

"…What, you thought we were worried about _that?_" Uo looked back at her, quirking an eyebrow. "You're always so paranoid." And she chuckled.

Tohru felt a smile burst onto her face. Just the way Uo would forgive her, too. Acting like nothing had happened.

"Yea. It was silly of me," Tohru agreed, smiling and sitting down properly on the grass. She glanced over at Hana, who was offering her a chip from her bag. Her heart swelled.

"I wouldn't believe them anyway," Hana said thoughtfully, nibbling on a chip. "Everyone in this school enjoys gossip too much."

Uo nodded thoughtfully, taking the chip from Tohru's fingers and stuffing it in her mouth. "True…" She looked over at Tohru, smirking just a bit. "I wonder what Kyon is gonna think when he hears about it."

Tohru blinked. What…? And then she frowned and felt the blush creeping onto her cheeks. "Ohhhh, no," she groaned, blinking her eyes shut tightly. "This is so awkward!" she cried.

"Hey. Tohru?"

She opened her eyes, shocked. She glanced at Uo and Hana and saw that both of their eyes were trained on something behind Tohru. She turned around, fearing the voice she had recognized so well…

"Oh, Kyo-kun!" she bubbled, standing up. "Hello!"

He blinked. "Can I talk to you for a second?"

Tohru hesitated, but after a quick glance at her friends (who nodded surreptitiously), she nodded as well. "Of course." And followed him out of the grass area out near the front of the school. He was silent the entire five minute walk, but stopped when they reached the shade of a large, leafy tree. Students wandered aimlessly outside of the school, chatting and sharing secrets. No one seemed to notice Tohru and Kyo.

"Kyo-kun…" she began, but her voice drifted off at the look on Kyo's face. It wasn't…angry. Or sad. It was actually a…normal expression? "Kyo-kun, what's wrong?" Tohru asked in a worried voice.

He looked over at her, blinking slowly. "So you know what they've been saying?"

She hesitated. _He knows? _Then Tohru nodded humbly. "Yes."

Silence.

"…Are you mad?" he asked. Tohru furrowed her brow quizzically, glancing up at him. His eyes proved he was worried.

"Wha.…? Of course not!"

"Oh. Okay." His voice sounded strange, and he turned away. Tohru realized he was waiting for her to say something.

"I was just…" she hesitated, taking a step closer. Stopping. "I was worried you'd be angry if you found out," said Tohru quietly, as if she expected him not to hear. He did anyway.

"Angry?" he repeated, and she sensed the cutting sarcasm in his voice. "Why would _I _be angry?" He finally turned to face her, and she could tell he was trying with difficulty to keep his emotions reigned in. "It would be _you _that would be pissed, wouldn't it?"

Tohru blinked up at him. "Me…angry?"

"Because of what they're saying!" Kyo growled out a frustrated noise and opened his mouth to say something. He paused, thinking better of it, and shut his mouth with a quick snap, turning to the side to try and calm down. "Why do you _think _that would be my first guess?" he asked tightly.

"Because…" _Because I've been telling him I don't want to be with him…_ "Because of what's…between us?" The last words were barely above a whisper.

"And because it's a lie," he said scathingly, not even bothering to look at Tohru to see the hurt expression that flashed across her face for an instant.

"Yuki-kun asked me about it," she said quietly, but then clamped her mouth shut. What a horrible time and place for realization to dawn!

"What?" Kyo asked more sharply than he had intended. He finally turned to face Tohru again. "Yuki was asking you about it?" She nodded and he rubbed his face with his hands to try and think more clearly.

"Well, I don't know how we can stop them. Rumors suck."

Tohru had to laugh a little at that. "Yea, they do."

Silence settled. Kyo couldn't help but ask the question that was nagging at his mind.

"So…what did Yuki actually say?"

Tohru had to suppress a sigh. "Something about asking if the rumors were true…he's actually who I found out from."

"…Oh."

"How did you hear about it?" she asked, looking up at him. Kyo blinked, not wanting to tell Tohru it had been a Prince Yuki Freak Club member for some reason. Seeing them tease her earlier had gotten him mad and he didn't want to seem like the world's biggest hypocrite or anything.

"Some…girl," he answered vaguely. It was close enough to the truth.

The two stood in silence because there honestly wasn't much else to say. Well, there _was _one thing, but Kyo didn't want to be weak by asking.

"Well…I guess I should…" Tohru pointed back in Hana and Uo's direction, and Kyo nodded stiffly in agreement. She hesitated, brushing the hair out of her eyes, but then turned on her heel to go back.

"W—Wait!" he called quickly, grabbing her wrist. She stopped instantly, swivelling back to face him with wide eyes. "I didn't—don't think that—I wasn't the one who started the stupid rumors!" Kyo spat, and then let go of her wrist quickly in embarrassment. There. He had looked pathetic, but he had told her.

"Oh Kyo-kun, I never would have thought that!" Tohru said, shaking her head lightly and smiling. "I know you're not mean enough to spread lies around like that!"

Kyo had to smile. "What, am I a marshmallow or something?" he asked gruffly. Tohru giggled.

"No…more like a piece of bread."

"Huh?" Kyo asked, raising an eyebrow at her. "What're you talking about?"

Tohru laughed out loud. It had been a long time since Kyo had seen her laugh like that, and it warmed his heart.

"Well, at least it's the lesser of two evils," Kyo said darkly, leading Tohru back to her friends. Tohru glanced up at him.

"What's the bigger evil?" she asked curiously. She realized at the exact moment that Kyo spoke.

"The Zodiac thing."

"Oh!"

Silence. And then they both chuckled a little. "I suppose you're right," Tohru had to agree.

"Well, I'll leave now," Kyo said, spotting Hana and Uo in the distance. "I know your friends don't really like me much," he muttered so only she could hear. Tohru winced.

"Oh no, it's not that! It's just that they don't know you very well."

_Not like you know me, _Kyo thought, but kept his mouth shut. "Yea, well, it happens." He hesitated, but then ruffled her hair a little. She flinched but smiled at the same time.

"Later," Kyo said, turning around.

"Bye!" Tohru called cheerfully.

_Maybe things will get better, _Kyo thought, definitely in a better mood than he had been in previously. Sure, people still thought they were a couple…but it would pass when they realized they _weren't. _

_I'll have to fix that soon, _he thought mildly. _Maybe these rumors will be not-so-rumorish soon. _He smiled at the thought.

"Ahh! Stop it, Kenji!" laughed a female voice behind Kyo. He twitched; turning around brusquely to see a girl with short black hair and glasses laughing as a taller, brown-haired man was chasing her. "I'm gonna trip! Stop!"

Kyo could have moved. He felt his heart speeding up and his body screaming to _run, _but for some reason he just couldn't. And the girl followed her own words; she tripped on her own feet and screeched as she tumbled…right into Kyo.

* * *

"Oh! I forgot to tell Kyo-kun that I won't be home this afternoon!" Tohru jumped up from her seat on the grass with her two friends. She had vaguely informed them about what had been exchanged between her and Kyo a few moments ago, but they were still suspicious.

"How come?" Uo asked curiously, scarfing down the rest of Hana's chips.

"Because I have to go shopping and then run some other errands for the house." She frowned a little. Kyo couldn't have wandered far. "I'll be back in just a second!" Tohru told them and then jogged away, back to the tree where they had spoken. She scanned the area for Kyo's orange head. But she couldn't spot him. That was weird. He couldn't have gotten _that _far, could he?

She blinked, seeing something on the nearby grass in a huddled mass. She blinked again. It looked like someone's school things, and no one was nearby. Should she take it to the head office?

Tohru took a few steps closer, but as the lump became sharper in her view she saw it was, in fact, a school uniform, lying in a useless lump on the ground. Tohru blushed. Was someone running around the school without any clothes on! She instantly shook that thought of her mind, bending closer to the uniform, thinking.

Then it clicked.

And she gasped.

"Oh _NO!_" she cried out fervently, grabbing Kyo's clothes and stuffing them into her bag before anyone else could get suspicious. _He didn't transform, did he! I hope not! Oh no! This is horrible! What if someone saw? Then things will be _doubly _worse!_

"What can I do?" Tohru whispered, feeling herself blush at the thought of what would happen. Knowing Kyo he would have bolted once he transformed, and now he'd be hiding somewhere without any clothes on…

"I have to find him!" She clenched her fists tightly, trying with difficulty to be brave and search the school. But…oh _where _could she possible find him in time before he transformed back into a human? "This is horrible!" she muttered aloud again, her brow furrowed with thought. Well, there was no time for strategy now. She would just have to hunt for an orange cat. She had no clue how, but…if anyone found out about his secret it would be…

Tohru couldn't even think of the words to explain the grief it would cause. She just clenched her bag tighter in her hand and trotted off at a brisk pace.

"Honda-san!"

Stop. Turn around. Slowly.

"Oh…Yuki-kun!"

Yuki stood on the path beside the tree, papers from the student council meeting gripped in his hand. He watched her curiously. "How come you rushed away so quickly before?" he asked. Tohru blinked, her mind focussed entirely on Kyo. But then she remembered their conversation and blushed.

"Oh—um—well…I really didn't know what you were talking about, and I just had to go fix a problem…" She glanced down at the grass, thinking, _Just let me find Kyo. Please, please, _please _just let me find Kyo!_

"Ah." Silence. "Well, sorry for interrupting you."

Tohru felt that inescapable sadness looming over her whenever spoke with Yuki. "Oh, I wasn't really…" She stopped. That was a lie. Of _course _she was doing something! "Ah, Yuki-kun!" She took a few steps closer so they could speak properly. Yuki was still watching her with a blank expression, but the papers were at his side now. "Please don't be angry, and I _know _this isn't a good time or place to bring it up, but…" Pause. "Kyo-kun transformed!"

Yuki blinked, but Tohru could see the shock on his face. She knew she had had to tell him though. Who else could help her with the problem? "What…do you mean?" he asked.

"Look!" Tohru opened the flap on her bag so Kyo's sleeve could be seen. "I found his clothes on the ground and I knew they were his because I was talking to him in the same place only a moment before, but then I had to run off and then come back because I had to tell him I wouldn't be home and—and—" Tohru paled and she finally felt the tears itching at the back of her eyes. She blinked once, hard, and opened her eyes again. "I just can't stand not knowing where he is! What if he's already a human again? What if someone found out?" She looked imploringly up at Yuki, who was still watching her coolly. "I know things are strange between us now, and I know you don't like Kyo-kun very much, but…" She had to swallow before continuing. "Please help me find him!" She bowed her head apologetically to him, hoping he would cooperate. Just this once.

"Of course I'll help, Honda-san." His voice was kind. Normal. It sounded like it had _before _Tohru had broken up with him.

"Hunh? Really?" she asked, standing up straighter and smiling shakily. Yuki nodded hesitantly.

"Not for Kyo. And not for you. For the Sohmas."

Tohru gulped. _Ow. _"O—Of course!"

Yuki nodded again, sliding his papers gently into his bag that had been slung over one shoulder. "I'll check the yards. Can you look inside of the school? He might have been able to sneak in through an open window or something while he was in cat form."

Tohru nodded. "Yes!" she agreed, bowing again. "Thank you, Yuki-kun."

He looked at her, opened his mouth, but then closed it again. Throwing his bag over his shoulder once more, he walked stiffly across the yard. Tohru watched him for only a nanosecond before shuffling quickly into the school. _I've got to find him! _She thought. _I won't give up, no matter what! _

With those thoughts in mind, she entered the empty halls with determination. Lunch break would be ending soon, so she had to find him _fast! _

* * *

Scratching. Breathing. Heavy breathing. Darkness. Eyelids closed. Fur tickling his nose. Claws itching at the door. A soft mewing escaping his mouth. He doesn't care. He hates being stuck in this stupid classroom he accidentally ran into. He was frightened. Fearful. He hadn't been watching where his cat form was leaping.

And then a student had left and closed the door, and now…now he was begging quietly through the crack of light below him. He eagerly tried to slide a paw through the crack, but only the tips of his feet would pass through. He felt anger bubbling. His tail lashed the air viciously. What if he turned back into a human by the time the next class filled the empty room? How horrifying and uncomfortable would that be? As if there wasn't enough crap about him floating around the school.

So all he could do was continue to whine softly, eyes shut tight so he could pretend he wasn't a cat.

* * *

"Kyo-kuuuun?" Tohru called lightly, glancing around the halls as she busily shuffled through. Not too fast, in case she missed his cat form. Not too slow either, because the bell might ring before she was done.

"Kyo-kuuuun!" she called again, but she soon realized that her feeble voice was not going to solve any problems. What could she do? Yuki was searching outside, but…who could help her inside of the school? Her friends knew she didn't own an orange cat (or a boy without clothes, however the situation ended)…what was she going to _do? _

"Well, I can't just give up!" she scolded herself quietly. "I'm sure he would be disappointed if I did!" So she kept walking…and walking…not knowing if he was going to turn up or if she was just taking random guesses. What if he was already far past her?

The warning bell rang. She could hear students beginning to enter the doors, laughing and talking, their voices a distant rumble. She quickened her pace.

"Oh, KYO-KUN!" she almost shrieked, flinging her head to the left and to the right as the classroom doors passed her by. "WHERE ARE YOU?"

_Scritch Scratch._

Tohru blinked. Stopped walking.

"Meeeeeew…"

Her heartbeat quickened.

"Kyo…-kun?" She wouldn't believe it. It was too lucky. Too insane and impossible.

_Scraaaaaaaaatch._

"Kyo-kun!" she said a bit more loudly, taking a step closer to where she thought the sound was coming from. Silence. "Kyo-kun, it's me!" said Tohru, feeling stupid, as she had no clue where to look. "Where are you?"

Silence. "…Behind a door," came the muffled, reluctant reply.

Tohru took another step on the tiled floor. "Which one?"

"I dunno!" spat the voice. "I wasn't really watching as I fled for my safety!"

Tohru winced. Kyo could get grumpy when he turned into a cat. He hated it so much, after all. "Okay, um…er…this one?" She tried the door handle of the nearest door. It didn't open. The voices of the students came louder!

"The one I'm in isn't locked."

Tohru started to go past all the doors, wiggling their knobs with no luck. When she finally got to the fifth door and was becoming desperate, the door clicked open softly. Tohru blinked and didn't move, as if she couldn't believe this sudden luck that had grabbed at her.

The door was poked open from the inside. A little meowing from below her caught her attention. Kyo stood, an orange cat, half-in and half-out of the classroom door. "Well?" he asked, looking up at her. "Are you gonna come in, or what?"

Tohru blushed and nodded, mumbling something she herself didn't understand. She stepped inside and closed the door firmly behind her. Turning around, she saw the classroom was only lit by the sunlight that filtered through two windows in the wall. Desks were lined up neatly, as in all of the classrooms. A student had forgotten their binder on a desk in the back.

Tohru had to let her eyes get used to the sudden darkness before she finally realized Kyo was perched up on the desk in front of her like a perfect cat. Tohru almost forgot he was actually a human before he spoke again. Watching human words come out of an animal's mouth was scary, Tohru realized, as she watched Kyo ask her something but didn't really listen.

"…Huh?" she asked stupidly. Kyo let out a little cat's hiss.

"I asked if you grabbed my clothes! Hurry, I gotta get them on before anyone comes in here for class."

Tohru nodded slowly, and then turned to her right and began fumbling in her bag. She pulled out the school uniform and draped it over the desk in front of Kyo. "Um—here…"

"Thanks," Kyo said grudgingly, grabbing the clothes in the grasp of his claws and jumping off the desk, stepping lightly down to the back of the room with the clothes sliding along underneath him, still attached to his claws.

Tohru didn't move until she realized she had to turn around. Blushing, she took a step toward the door. "I'll just leave, then. Um…er…yes." She reached for the handle, feeling strange and more awkward than she ever had before. _At least you found him in cat form! _She thought.

"No! Wait!"

Tohru's fingers gripped the handle in horror. She still wouldn't turn to face Kyo, for fear of seeing him turn into a human. Surely his time must almost be up?

"Er—what?" she muttered, eyes staring at the grainy wood of the door in front of her.

"Students might be outside. They'll wonder. Just…stay there. Don't look, either," came Kyo's scorning voice. Tohru's face flamed.

"Of course I wouldn't look!" she cried, unthinkingly spinning to face Kyo, was still a cat and still standing at the back of the class on all fours. "You mustn't—"

"Tohr—" came Kyo's angered shout, but before he could finish it a burst of clouds exploded, filtering through the classroom. Tohru gave a little gasp and spun around.

"Sorry! Sorry!" she cried, blushing profusely yet again. "I'm sorry! I feel so stupid!" She bowed to the door instead of in Kyo's direction. Just in case. "I mean, I guess I wasn't thinking…"

There was no answer, only the rustle of cloth as Kyo undoubtedly pulled his uniform back on. Tohru felt her face turning pink once again. What was wrong with her? Yes, she would be this embarrassed if it was any other boy changing into a naked human form. But it wasn't just now. It had been all day! All week! She had only felt this flustered a few times, and they had all had to do with Kyo and kissing, or Kyo and something similar to kissing. So…what was her heart trying to tell her, anyway?

"Okay, we can leave now." His voice was right behind her ear. She jerked away, almost bumping her head on the door.

"Oh! Okay! But, um, Kyo-kun, won't people be even more curious if we come out together?"

"'Course not," Kyo replied, grabbing her shoulder and spinning her around. "Because we're going out the windows."

Tohru gulped. They were on the first floor, but…out of the windows? "Oh. Okay," she replied feebly, still unable to look at Kyo.

"It's easy," he replied.

"Well, I haven't jumped out of the second floor windows before, either," she informed him in a tone quite unlike her usual one. Kyo blinked, looking back at her from the window, where he had been fiddling around with the screw.

"I didn't really need a reminder," he mumbled, turning around to fiddle with the window. Tohru instantly felt a bit guilty, but it was still funny.

"But you should have heard everyone after you jumped! Some people were very impressed," she told him encouragingly. "Even Uo-chan was!"

"Uotani?" Kyo asked back, snorting. "Why would I wanna impress her?" But he didn't say anything else on the subject, so Tohru let it drift.

Students could be heard stomping around outside of the door. Tohru glanced at Kyo nervously from her spot at the window she had floated over to. He frowned. "It's almost there," he said, but Tohru glanced back worriedly at the door.

"We could just walk out," she said a bit hopefully.

"Nah. This is better," he told her smirking and glancing up. "Don't you agree?"

Tohru had a hard time saying no to him lately. "I—I guess so…"

"There!" Kyo popped the lower part of the window open, sliding the pane over to the side and popping the screen out, tossing it outside into the shrubs. "Coming?" he asked, glancing back at her with one leg outside of the window.

"Yes!" Tohru said, trying to smile. She really didn't want to be late for her classes…but how could she say no to spending time with Kyo?

Kyo hopped out with a little oof, landing on the gravel below. He kicked the screen a little with his foot before looking up at Tohru. "It's easy," he told her, grinning. Tohru smiled back nervously. She really didn't want to squeeze through the small window space and jump down onto gravel. She was so clumsy that something doubly worse would probably happen.

Something _did _happen. She squeezed a leg out and then popped the rest of her body through without really thinking. Giving a little yelp she landed on the loose stones of the gravel with the toe of one shoe. Slipping, she collapsed onto the ground, her knees scraping against the gravel and her hands slapping against the pebbly dirt of the grass beside it. She groaned, feeling little pricks of pain behind her eyes.

"You okay?" Kyo asked, leaning down on all fours to look up at Tohru's face. She blanched, sitting up on her knees.

"Yes!" she cried loudly, slapping her palms together. But they stung and she winced, risking a glance at her hands to see that they were bleeding. Kyo's rough, larger hands grabbed her fingers before she could react, and he scrutinized her palms rather angrily.

"No, you're not okay," he said quietly. "You're so clumsy," he scolded her softly, folding his fingers over hers without really thinking. Tohru felt his fingers around her own curled ones and knew her face was heating up. But Kyo wouldn't look at her face, but only down at their hands. Her bleeding palms and his own palms holding her fingers in a gentle grasp. It seemed so un-Kyo that Tohru didn't know how to react. So instead, she just stayed silent.

They sat, kneeling toward each other, for a few moments at least. Finally, Kyo's hands let go of hers snappishly, as if he didn't want to touch her anymore. He stood up abruptly. "You need to go to the nurse," he told her, facing the other way. Tohru was still kneeling, but now held her hands together, like she was hunting for the warmth that Kyo had given them.

"I'm fine," she persisted, but her tone wasn't in it and they both knew it. "Kyo-kun—"

"Classes are gonna start soon," he interrupted, and then hesitated before proceeding to stride away tightly. Tohru knew it was because he was nervous. Something had shaken him.

…_She _had shaken him?


	10. Something New

**A/N: **I'm slow, SO SLOW, but this chapter gave me the WORST writer's block, and argh I deserve to be abused one hundred times over. If anyone is still reading this, I am SO SORRY. I have some plans now, and I'll try to write sooner. This year has been absolute insanity for me. Sorry, sorry!

**Disclaimer: **Natsuki Takaya is the genius.

* * *

**_Second Thoughts _**

_Chapter Ten_

* * *

There was no sign of that stupid cat. Why did he have to be so ignorant, anyway? Did he not realize how much Tohru would fret over him? All the ruckus he would cause? Had the girl seen him? Yuki felt like giving that ungrateful creature a good punch in the face, which was not how he wanted to feel.

When the last warning bell rang, Yuki was fed up, but also a little worried. Just how many people knew about the secret, now? He nibbled his bottom lip anxiously, wondering what he was going to tell Tohru. Or Akito.

Just when he thought all hope was lost, he saw an orange head bobbing behind a group of trees. Yuki halted, too shocked to believe it was actually Kyo. He took a step closer, and saw his cousin slumped down against a tree, resting his head in his hands. Yuki blinked. He was wearing his uniform again, so that must have meant Tohru found him. The thought made him feel slightly bitter.

"So," Yuki said, stepping lightly out of the bushes and standing in front of Kyo. He saw him stiffen, but he didn't look up. Didn't even reply. Yuki continued. "You finally got your clothes back on, then?" He heard an agitated growl emit deep from Kyo's throat, but that was all. "Did Honda-san find you?"

Silence. "Yes."

"Did anyone see you transform?" He felt his heartbeat speeding up at the thought that someone had.

"I—I don't know," he muttered, slumping his shoulders even more. His face was still clutched in his hands. Yuki bit back any more vicious remarks he could have said.

"You don't remember?" he asked icily.

"No—I mean, yea—well, I don't know!" Kyo finally cried, glaring up at Yuki angrily, eyes narrowed to just slits. "Could you just leave me the hell alone?! Call your buddy Hatori in to take care of it if you're so freaked out!"

"I'm just asking you a simple question," Yuki persisted, feeling his annoyance starting to rise. He had been doing so well lately, too. What with Tohru breaking up with him (he still couldn't really believe it), and Kyo being the obvious cause… "Yes, or no?" he continued.

Kyo unrelentingly glared up at him, scrutinizing him. But finally he had to look away, just like he always did when it came to anything with Yuki. "She didn't notice," he finally uttered quietly, rubbing his hands together almost anxiously. "Too distracted by the guy that was chasing her. Looking the other way. I ran off, sort of thing." He told him nothing about how frightened he had been, how mortified. How in his cat form he had stood—frozen—in the puddle of his uniform, only to leap into action and climb up the nearest tree, to the back of the giggling girl who had exclaimed she had tripped over a rock. Didn't even see the uniform.

Yuki didn't bother asking about this 'guy that was chasing her'. Shrugging, he gave Kyo one last gaze. "You better not be lying."

"Why the hell would I lie about something like that?" Kyo spat out, standing up abruptly. "You damn Rat," he snapped, and then whirled around and strode out of the bushes briskly. Yuki watched him tensely. It hurt to ask the question, but…what did Tohru see in him?

* * *

Kyo hated it when Yuki got like that. All uptight and high-and-mighty. As if Kyo couldn't figure out anything on his own! He curled his fists angrily, not even bothering to go back into school. Instead, he walked in the opposite direction, high-tailing it across the street, just trying to get away from that place.

What had happened to him back there? Kyo hadn't meant to go soft on Tohru. He wasn't supposed to hold her fingers like that, all curled up in his own palms. He wasn't supposed to get close to her. Not like that. Because now he would have scared her. Stupid, stupid, _self! _He berated himself constantly as he walked heatedly down the street, lost in thought.

But she hadn't exactly gotten angry. Or freaked out. She had just sat there, silently. And seeing that blood on her hands… Kyo shivered. He hadn't wanted to _hurt _her either! Dammit, was he just a giant ball of cursedness or something? He had thought going out the windows would be more fun—albeit not safer—than going out the door. Besides, he hated to admit it, but… he had just wanted to spend more time with Tohru, anyway. But look where _that _had gotten them! Another awkward stage. God _dammit._

* * *

Tohru didn't even hear the bell ring. She was still kneeling in that gravel, the rocks poking viciously at her flesh. Students rushed into the room at her back, and she didn't notice the small crowd gathering around the open windowpane, now missing a screen that sat neatly beside Tohru. No, she was still looking down at her scratched hands, still caressing her fingertips lightly, remembering Kyo's touch…

_I'm being silly! _She scolded, standing up and brushing the pebbles off of her knees. She glanced down at the window screen and then guiltily picked it up, handing it up to a student through the small bottom windowpane. "I'll fix it after school!" Tohru told the young girl, who only nodded hesitantly and passed the screen to someone else. Tohru turned around quickly and walked off, face pink with embarrassment.

"I wonder why Kyo ran off like that," she murmured to herself, heading around to the front of the school once again. "I hope I didn't do anything to annoy him!" She decided to listen to his advice though, and pay a visit to the school nurse.

As she walked into the school she noticed a few stray heads turning in her direction. Her face flamed, and she couldn't stop wondering what they must be thinking. Oh, she wished she still had no clue! It had been so much easier to ignore before. But now that she knew what they were all saying…

Ohhh, so _what_? Someone had spread nasty rumors around, but should she care? After all, they were about Kyo… and it wasn't like Tohru hated Kyo. In fact, it seemed to be the opposite…

"Ooh, but that doesn't make sense either!" _Didn't I say I didn't want to be with him? Not yet… because Yuki and I just broke up. But maybe… maybe I only said that because I was… afraid. Of Kyo? Or Yuki? _

Shaking her head, Tohru tapped lightly on the door of the nurse's office, wincing as the touch burned her hand. _I'll try to figure it all out after I get my hands fixed, _she thought determinedly.

* * *

It was the end of the day. Kyo had survived. No one had come up to him waving posters of cats in his face or anything. But there was nothing subtle, either. No quick glances, no fearful eyes. Well, there was the occasional whisper and people nudging each other as he walked by, but he could tell the difference. The latter was light and teasing due to the rumors. Anything about his transformation? Nothing. But he hadn't seen Tohru all afternoon either, and it was strange.

He set off down the hall toward his locker, wondering, just for a split second, why Tohru had gone back to the tree and spotted his uniform. But in a second the thought was gone, floating of his mind and into the breeze, light as a feather. He didn't think of it again.

He walked past a classroom; not even realizing it was the one he had been locked in earlier. But as he strode past he heard small squeaky noises through the door that was open a crack. Then a muffled bang as something fell. A muttered noise. Normally he would have kept walking. Whatever was going on wasn't any of his business. But he thought the squeaking voice was familiar.

Poking his head hesitantly through the door, Kyo spotted Tohru standing beside the window, trying desperately to fit the screen back into the window as she had promised earlier that day. But her hands were bandaged up and it was difficult for her to move her fingers deftly enough to handle the screen. Sighing, she propped it up against the wall and stood in the half-darkness of the room, lit only by the sunlight filtering through the windows once again.

Kyo quirked an eyebrow up in an exasperated way. "What're you doing?" he asked, taking a step inside, leaving the door open as it was before.

Tohru jumped, turning around. "Oh, Kyo-kun!" She smiled, which Kyo took as a good sign. He still felt strange about what he had done earlier. "I'm just trying to fix the window. I told a student I would after—after you left," she added hesitantly and with a burst of speed. She quickly spun around and tried to lift the medium-sized screen in her hands, but the bandages rubbed against her hands. She let out a breathe of air, trying not to drop it. "Aah, this is tricky!" she told Kyo, still facing the window and trying fruitlessly to stuff the screen in haphazardly.

"That's because your hands are all bandaged, stupid," Kyo scolded, dropping his bag on the ground with a thump. He walked over to Tohru, taking the screen lightly out of her hands. "You can't lift it when your hands are swollen."

Tohru tucked her hands into each other, fumbling with them and finally decided to clasp them together behind her back. "I promised," was all she whispered, and Kyo didn't reply right away.

"Doesn't mean you couldn't ask for help," he grunted, fiddling with the screen. Finally he knelt in front of the open space of the window, fitting the screen into place.

"I didn't know where you were." Like she had been looking for him. Kyo felt a sting of guilt that he would rather have not felt.

"Your boyfriend yelled at me today."

"He's not my boyfriend," Tohru replied softly, almost tiredly. Kyo felt guilty again, but this time he was irritated too. "And he was probably just anxious because I asked him to help find you, but I didn't tell him I found you… in time," she added lamely.

Kyo shrugged. "It wasn't anything big. The usual." He was taking his sweet time with this screen, popping it back into place when it didn't seem to fit right. Kyo knew he was just stretching the time with Tohru, but he didn't care.

"He seems tired lately, huh?"

"Whatever," Kyo replied, sick of talking about Yuki. It was all they seemed to have in common these days. With a final noise of frustration Kyo snapped the screen into place, sliding the glass of the window in front of it from the inside. He was still kneeling. Tohru was silent.

Kyo stood up slowly, turning around. "Well, your screen's fixed," he told her unnecessarily.

"Thanks," Tohru said graciously, and them smiled a wobbly little smile. "It's silly, that I can't even do that. It's the bandages more than my hands. They really don't hurt, but the nurse was so insistent!" Tohru held up her hands, the tightly wound bandages bulging her hands to a large size.

"I'm sure you don't need that many bandages," Kyo agreed in his own way, tempted to grab her hands. To wrap the bandages off, because that was what she wanted and he could tell. But he didn't want to touch her; afraid he might act out of impulse and do something that was strictly forbidden between them. For now.

"I'm just glad the nurse cared so much," said Tohru lightly, but Kyo saw something was wrong in her eyes.

"What's up?" he asked casually, leaning against the wall. Trying to act normal was difficult.

Tohru blinked over at him. "Oh, I'm fine!" Tohru told him, nodding firmly. "Nothing's wrong at all."

Kyo let a quiet sigh escape his lips. He cocked his head to the side, watching her through half-closed lids. He saw her glancing at him anxiously and then looking away to the other side of the room.

"I… have… some errands…" Her protest to their quiet meeting was meek and feeble. Kyo paid it no attention.

"Why can't you just tell me what's wrong?" Silence. He lifted his head up, resting his hands against the ledge of the window. "I remember when we used to talk about all that stuff over soumen." He felt a small smile tugging at his lips, remembering the time she had gotten so anxious she had started to cry. His silly Tohru, always overanalysing. Always feeling the weight of the world on her shoulders.

A tiny smile tickled at the corners of Tohru's lips. "I remember," she softly replied. "But things were…" Silence.

"Does it matter that it was different then?" Kyo asked, reading her thoughts as usual. He stood up straighter now, although he had yet to take a step closer to Tohru. She glanced up at him. "We're still the same people," he continued stubbornly. "I don't think it matters. We should still be able to talk about what's bugging us."

He was serious about it, too. And Kyo hadn't actually said anything serious to Tohru for a while. So he was hoping she would be serious in return, spilling her secrets to him or something. But instead, she giggled. Softly, but it was still a giggle.

"I—what?" Kyo asked, perplexed. Tohru covered her grinning mouth with a smile.

"I'm not laughing at you, Kyo-kun," she reassured him with a muffled voice between giggles, "It's just that you're so serious about it!" She laughed a little, and Kyo felt his face burning red. Tohru pulled her hand away, her mouth still tilted up in a smile. "It's nice," was all she said, and Kyo didn't feel so embarrassed anymore.

"Yea. Well…"

"But you're right." She stayed where she was standing, fiddling with her bandages but making no difference to them. "It's just… I don't _know _what's wrong with me lately," she mumbled.

Kyo felt like they were dancing over dangerous territory. Did he care? Not anymore. "Why d'you think that?" Kyo asked. Tohru grimaced, thinking hard.

"It might be… um…" Her voice grew softer and softer. Kyo waited patiently. He wasn't going to be the one pushing things, even though he was so tempted. Tohru's expression looked like she was thinking very hard.

"I guess… it might be…" Her voice surprised Kyo. "I might… feel… guilty?" She wasn't looking at Kyo, but down at the floor beneath them.

Kyo felt a ripple up his spine. Guilty? That was better than he had been hoping for. But sadly, he didn't know exactly what he should say. "Oh," he decided on, which he soon realized was completely insufficient.

Tohru hung her head, and even oblivious Kyo could see the huge blush raging on her cheeks. "Hey, it's nothing to freak out about," he added, and then decided he was very bad at this comforting thing.

"Yes it is," Tohru mumbled. "And it's not even because of Yuki-kun!" she burst out suddenly, her head whipping up so she could look earnestly into Kyo's face. "It's because I told you that I didn't want a relationship, and now I'm not so sure! And it's all very confusing, and I guess that's… why…"

Kyo could feel his own face flaming up, but at that moment he honestly didn't care. "It's still not anything to get freaked out about," he said quietly, taking a step closer; he stopped, scared of going any further.

Tohru didn't even twitch. "But—But I…" She looked away now, at a loss for words.

"So what, then?" Kyo asked, his voice getting softer and softer. He took another step closer.

Tohru blinked. "I… I don't know."

Kyo did something rash. He knew he shouldn't have, but he did. He took both of her bandaged hands in his. She jumped, but looked up at him all the same. Once their eyes locked neither of them looked away. "Do you still… want to be alone?" he asked seriously. Tohru blushed even darker.

"I don't…" She squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, and then opened them again. "No," she whispered delicately. Kyo felt his heart speed up.

"Okay," he replied steadily, but he heard his own voice trembling as much as he tried to still it. He took a deep breath in through his nose, looking down at her again. He could feel her trying to avoid his eyes, but her gaze flickered up to his until it stayed. "What _do _you want then?" he asked, so quietly he could barely hear himself. Tohru seemed to be able to hear him fine, though.

"Maybe—um…" He knew she was having troubles. "I don't…" She looked down at her hands, and then back up at him. Something was different in her eyes. "Today, you grabbed my hands outside," she informed him. Kyo felt his face grow pink.

"Yea," he replied. "And?"

"And—" She seemed to falter, "—I couldn't stop thinking about it all day. Actually, I couldn't stop thinking about you at all since… a long time," she told him, her face now flaming red. Kyo felt a smile grow on his face, and he didn't even try to hide it.

"Really?" he asked, hopefully.

Tohru could only nod; she seemed to have lost the ability to speak.

"Oh, that's—well—I haven't been able to stop thinking about…" He trailed off, completely unable to finish his sentence. But they both knew what he was going to say anyway, because both of them could feel each other looking at the floor in embarrassment. Kyo didn't know how to act in a situation like this! The last time they had impulsively kissed, it had led to disaster. And yet, there was nothing he wanted to do more than just that.

"Tohru—" he began.

"Kyo-ku—"

They both stopped, finally having made eye contact, but now unable to rip their gazes apart. Silence settled on them; until Kyo was finally brave enough to lean his head just an inch closer, so his bangs swept across the top of Tohru's head. She stiffened, and he saw it, and he almost pulled away. But something had taken over his body, a strange feeling that burned through his veins and made his head throb. He stooped lower, catching her lips in his before she could step away.

He heard her audibly gasp, but instead clutched her hands tighter and leaned in further, his hunger for her overpowering everything else.

She pulled away only a hair's width away, murmuring something like, "in a school…"

Kyo barely heard the words, because a strange buzzing was ringing in his ears. With only a second's hesitation he slipped his hand onto the back of her neck, supporting her head as he caught her lips in his own again. Behind his thoughts of, 'Holy crap, I'm actually kissing her!' was the ever-present reminder that he couldn't get too close to Tohru, the girl he just wanted to hold tightly to his chest, to just grasp her and feel her heart thudding against his chest, and to press his face into her hair and kiss her more and more and never stop. The feeling was overpowering him, and Tohru didn't seem to be very much against it, although she wriggled uncomfortably occasionally, but Kyo was just too lost in the moment, too lost in what _this _was what he was supposed to be doing. Not running away from her, dodging around corners to escape her gaze.

"I want to be with you," he finally breathed into her hair, resting his lips against the top of her head. His voice was ragged, but he didn't care. He felt Tohru's shoulder lifting heavily as she breathed.

"I want… to be with you too," she murmured, and he could even tell from her wobbly voice that she was no doubted blushing insanely. Kyo felt his own face radiating heat, but just pressed his face closer into her hair, smelling and noticed her shampoo was fruity. It was nice, and natural.

They stood like this for a moment, the safe distance of inches between them, Kyo resting his face in her head. Tohru's arms hung nervously at her sides, but she slowly raised them to grasp Kyo's hands again. He let her, and he felt an overwhelming joy in him he hadn't known was possible. Was it all right for a monster to feel like this?

Kyo decided that for now, it was right. It felt perfect, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

They walked home together, hand in hand. It was the first time, and it was undeniably awkward and a little sweaty, too. But both of them were too happy, and both of them tried to fill the silence with chatter, because even though they were comfortable with each other, it was still a bit nerve-wracking after such an intense confession… and of course, an intense kiss.

At home, the air was peaceful. Both of them knew, silently, that Yuki wasn't present. Tohru wouldn't have minded, although it would have been strained. Kyo was just damn glad the Rat wasn't there, because his only goal would have been to irritate Kyo, and right now he just wanted to spend time with Tohru.

Tohru couldn't get the feeling of Kyo's kiss out of her mind. Oh sure, she talked about whatever Kyo had wanted on the walk home, but that surge of emotion and heat had yet to leave her body. She felt it shiver through her occasionally when she thought about it too much. Now all she wanted was to have that feeling back, but to kiss Kyo out of nowhere? Tohru blushed at the thought of it, wondering just how far it was possible to go if you weren't even technically dating. After all, how could they be when both of them were in such danger enough as it was?

"Tohru?" She jumped at Kyo's voice as he peeked his head around the corner of the hall. It seemed that he had left the entrance room, and he had probably given Tohru a reason, but here she was, too lost in her thoughts to even be listening!

"Hm? What?" she asked, perking up a little as she slid out of her shoes and padded along the floor in her socks.

"I was just asking you what we should do, because I just checked and Shigure's not here…" A silence drifted around them, and Tohru felt her face heating up even though she was struggling so hard to stay calm. Okay, was Kyo suggesting something? What could they even do without hugging? Well, she knew that answer plainly enough; the kiss was a vivid enough memory to serve as an adequate answer. But was he really insinuating that, or was he just innocently curious as to what they should do? Laundry? Cook? Tohru didn't know how this worked! She had heard from girls in her class that boys didn't think about much else other than kissing and making out after it happened. But Tohru realized with horror that it was _she _that was thinking about the kiss non-stop! Oh no, was she the really hormonal one in this relationship… thing?

All of these thoughts flew through her head in less than a second. She hesitated before replying, "Um… I—I don't know." She fiddled anxiously with her hands, which didn't hurt any more.

Kyo quirked an eyebrow at her. "All right." He turned around toward the kitchen, but Tohru reached out and grabbed his sleeve before he could take a step. Kyo glanced back at her.

"What's up?" he asked, stepping close to her. Tohru stared at his hair—that beautiful, orange hair—before coming back to her senses.

"Oh, just—um—well… will it be strange? Living in the same house now." She was serious about this, and was glad that no embarrassed blush could be felt creeping along her cheeks. Because really, would it be a serious problem? She didn't know whom she was talking about when she spoke, either. Who knew what she could become? It was a strange thought, completely alien to Tohru. But she wanted to be sure things would be okay.

"I… think so." Kyo looked rather self-conscious at Tohru's issue. "I mean, it's fine with me. After all…" He paused, and then brushed a bit of Tohru's hair behind her ear. She blinked up at him, squeezing her hands together tightly. "…It won't be so bad, right?" His smirk was a bit too feline for Tohru, but she had to giggle.

"Right." A silence followed, and Tohru realized Kyo's hand was still behind her ear, just cupping it lightly. "Um." It was all she could muster, and finally she just took a step toward Kyo and kissed him lightly on the lips before she could stop. She pulled herself away just as quickly, and then looked almost ashamed of herself.

"Er—sorry." Blushing, blushing.

"No, don't be," Kyo, argued quietly. He was smiling, and it was a smile Tohru wasn't used to. It looked peaceful… calm. She was so surprised she couldn't reply. Kyo only ruffled her hair before turning down the hall toward the kitchen again. "I'm going to go train," he told her, but not in a cold way, not in a 'get-out-of-my-face' way, which had basically been their conversations as of late. Tohru grinned to herself, clutching her hands together tightly; they were trembling under the bandages. This was a different sort of excitement. It wasn't about awkward glances between them; it wasn't about those brushes of their arms when they were in the kitchen. It was something new… something _better. _Because they were together now, and whatever it was they were going to embark on… it would be daunting, but Tohru knew it would be well worth it.


End file.
